Thanks for visiting our team fundraising page.
Where do i start, the heartbreaking loss of our incredible Damen. A proud father, son, brother, uncle and great friend to many. The devastating news reached my family on Wednesday 12th September, the day our lives changed forever, news that has left us all devastated and with a broken heart.
Every single person is trying to find answers that sadly we'll never get and anyone close to Damen will know some of the struggles he faced in his amazing 26 years with us. Dame found it hard to deal with some of the hurdles he came across in life and sadly there were many of them. Don't get me wrong, some of these he created for himself but that's what made him who he was.
He lived life in the fast lane, anything he did was to the fullest and the best of his ability. He was so powerfully minded and driven that at times it was hard to keep up with him.
What Dame endured though-out his 26 years I don't think many in this world will go through in their lifetime. Deep down we always knew Damen was a live wire and we often related to him to as a cat with 9 lives as he was so lucky to still be here, alas sadly not this time!
I could write a book to continue his story but the main reason for this page is to help recognize and now help others that are suffering like Damen. If his legacy can save or help just one person we are achieving something amazing and it would make him proud as above all he was such a sensitive and caring soul!
We have chosen to put all the funds raised from this page towards 2 charities that were close to Damen and the family.
One of his biggest challenges was overcoming the severe motorcycle accident he had back in June of 2013. The moment he came off his bike, fate had it that James Birdseye, an off duty paramedic was close by in the traffic and got to him straightaway. Damen was so overcome by this and continued to stay in touch with him and to express his immense gratitude in saving his life!
The same goes to the Thames valley air ambulance service who acted immediately after the request from James for an anaesthetist to be on board so without their prompt service and medical help we may not have been blessed with the extra 5 years we had with him.
It is therefore the Thames Valley Air Ambulance service that is not funded by government and relies on public support and generosity that we will be sharing this fund with.
The accident left Damen with a whole list of injuries and problems, The main one being his leg which he came close to losing but with the excellent team at John Radcliffe, a lengthy operation and long term in intensive care he made it through, The other trauma being the brain damage he suffered. This was the biggest problem of all for him and we believe to be one of the main factors of Damen choosing the the path he took that tragic night.
Unfortunately furthermore he narrowly escaped death after a harrowing drowning accident shortly after the bike accident which he was still recuperating from. Once again he was saved miraculously! This indeed proved to leave heavy mental scars and massively contributed to his struggles since he was conscious throughout such an unimaginable trauma.
Although he acted, spoke and looked perfect he was understandably troubled inside. From memory loss to poor concentration, severe sleep deprivation and PTSD he could no longer work full time. He tried absolutely everything and we mean everything to cure his own body and mind but whilst he extraordinarily managed it physically he couldn't overcome it mentally.
The second charity of our choice is therefore CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably), a movement against male suicide. This is something that we now feel so strongly about. One of the hardest things myself, my mum and all of Damen's family and friends are having to go through is the shock and heartache of Damen's decision, we had no idea recently that he felt that way. We can put together a version in our heads of what we think may have been the reason or what we want to believe but deep down we know the only person who can give us those answers is Damen and now we will never get that chance. It's those questions that we will carry with us for the rest of our lives. Male suicide is the biggest single killer of men under the age of 45. The awareness of this fact is so important, the saddest thing about it for me and my family is that its only now, when its all too late that we’ve become so passionate about it so please help everyone to learn from this!
When we go back over all the amazing messages and comments to Damen we are touched by how many people knew or knew of him and just how loved he was by everybody. All we wish for is that somehow, some way he can hear and see these comments as he was oblivious to his own worth and the way he touched people's hearts!
This is the big realization for me that in life it always seems to be this way, no one is told enough and when we do it always seems to be too late. What myself and I’m sure many others will take from this is to become a better person, to never judge people or put them down and to tell those I love and care for how much I love them and how I feel about them.
But most of all to try and encourage them to open up and ask for help!
In loving memory of a truly remarkable person who will live on in our hearts and minds forever:
Damen-Tyler Barnard
16.07.92 - 12.09.18
