I am supporting my wife and brother-in-law by walking beside them at the Hike for Hospice. This is their story:

As most of you know our Mom/Grandma (Janet Herman) passed away on January 13, 2024, but what you don't know is our journey. Mom was taken to the hospital on September 30th, 2023 with a severe kidney infection that just about took her life and after running tests to find out why she was so sick they came across lesions in her pelvis that were suspiucious of cancer. After 26 hours in emergency at Peter Lougheed Hospital she was stable enough to be admitted. The coming days were filled with test after test trying to figure out what was wrong. Mom was exhausted, in pain and still very sick. Then we got the diagnosis that everyone feared. CANCER. She had been diagnosed with lung cancer that had spread to her bones and was very aggressive. Her oncologist told us it could be weeks to months.

After discussing all the options we chose hospice with a very heavy heart. We had fear she would feel isolated and that the atmosphere would be depressing and sad. My brother and I were given the task of choosing a place for our Mom to die. It was a very heavy responsiblity and we both felt the weight of it. We toured two facilities that we didn't love, I'm sure they are amazing facilities, but they just weren't what we were looking for.

The day that my brother and I walked into Rosedale Hospice will be forever etched in my mind. That quiet street, the beautiful trees that line the front yard, the gorgeous stained glass window and the free parking! We were met by LeeAnne who took us into the warm and inviting dining room where she wanted to talk about Mom's needs, our needs, and how we were doing. She then told us about the traditions and ceremonies that Rosedale has, one of them being the comfort care tea cart filled with Country Rose china. This cart makes its rounds every Thursday with tea, treats and fresh bread and LeeAnne, along with other staff and volunteers, has tea with the patients. During that time they chat about their lives and get to know one another. Another tradition is the lighting of the Tiffany lamp. When a loved one passes a family member turns the lamp on and it stays lit for 24 hours to alert everyone in the house that someone has passed. Then there's the quilt, our favourite tradition. They have a gorgeous handmade quilt kept on a beautiful wooden quilt stand that stands just outside a patients door when they pass until the family is ready to have the funeral home take their loved one away. At that time they place the quilt over the loved one as they leave the building. This sealed the deal for us. Being from a long line of military ancestors the traditions and ceremony spoke to us.

We gave Mom all the information and the options and she chose Rosedale. My brother and I were still worried that she would feel isolated and lonely, but we knew the care would be the best there, so we went ahead and put her on the waitlist. A week later we got the news that there was a bed and she would be transferred the next day.

The transfer day was STRESSFUL because our Mom was a very independent woman and she was very much out of control of what was happening to her. She had no idea what Rosedale was like, where it was, or how the process was going to go. It was a very upsetting day for all of us. It felt so final. But, once we arrived at Rosedale, a lot of the fear and anxiety melted away. Watching the nurses and volunteers care for our Mom in a way that we had never experienced was astounding. There is a peace at Rosedale that we didn't see until our Mom was there. It was aparent how much chaos we were living in up until that moment. It felt like we could all breathe again. The next day, after spending many hours at Rosedale getting Mom settled, we were able to release the emotion of the situation. We were able to walk out of the doors of Rosedale and feel confident that our Mom was cared for like we would care for her. We had no idea that we had been carrying all of that stress until that moment. We really got the sense that they loved her, even after only a day and a half.

After a week we did a Goals of Care meeting with Catherine and Kristy where we talked about Mom's care, what that would look like, and if Mom had any goals she wanted to achieve with her time there. It was then that Mom learned about the ceremony and tradition. She was moved to tears when she heard about the quilt and how the staff do the honour guard when the funeral home takes her away. My brother and I were so validated that we had made the right choice for her. Catherine and Kristy fell in love with our Mom that day, it was so easy to see. So many tears were shed, by us and by Catherine and Kristy. This was new for us, to see the emotion mirrored back at us, I think it allowed the greiving process to begin.

As the days and weeks passed, all the nurses fell in love with Mom too. She had a sharp mind and a wicked sense of humour. They were always happy to have a chat with her and remind her that she never had to be alone if she was sad, scared, lonely or just wanted someone present in the room. They welcomed our family with open arms into the care process. And, looking back now, I can see that they were caring for our family just as much as they were caring for Mom. Dr. Tara Pickering was such a blessing to this process. She always had time for my questions, a chat, a hug, and reassurance. She facilitated a beautiful conversation between Mom and I that I will cherish for the rest of my life. She NEVER rushed when she was speaking to you and I always walked away from a conversation with her feeling extremely supported.

Our fear of Mom feeling isolated or alone was washed away. Rosedale can be filled with laughter, the chit chat of normal life conversation, and sometimes with beautiful music. On occasion a 4 legged furry friend would come to visit and give some of the best kind of love. The warmth and compassion of the staff and the volunteers made it feel inviting and inclusive.

When we were in the final days we didn't leave the building for more than a couple of hours to grab clothes, hug our families, and shower. The staff and volunteers made sure that our family was comfortable, fed, and hugged often. The nurses were also incredibly compassionate and gentle with our Mom, a kind of gentle that you would see with someone holding a brand new baby. The way they loved on her, spoke to her, reassured her and joked with her was like nothing I have ever seen or experienced. For those final days we were in a bubble of love. Words can never describe the value, the experience or the feelings of being loved and supported that way. In a very real way, when the grief strikes me hard, I want to walk through the doors of Rosedale and be surrounded by that bubble once again. We were told that is welcomed and in my healing journey I will do this.

We have such an immense sense of gratitude to all the staff and volunteers of Rosedale. They made a very rough and hard situation softer and smoother. They allowed our family to focus on the conversations, spending time and loving our Mom to the fullest. Please consider donating to Calgary Hospice so that other families can receive the same beautiful gift.

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts,

Shane, Christine and Ellie; Tina, Shane, Emma and Georgia; and Orlo.