Thanks for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page. I want to raise money for The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust by running the Paris marathon in 2024, I am not a runner but wanted to pick something challenging, it’s going be a tough few months training up to this event so please support for this amazing cause- 1 in 80 pregnancies experience an ectopic and if symptoms are not identified correctly this can be life threatening. By running this marathon I want to raise awareness and help others who are unfortunate to have experienced this before and help them know that they are not alone.

2022 was the worst year of my life, constant visits to the hospital, numerous unexplained pregnancy losses and one ectopic rupture which was life threatening as doctors had missed it. Someone was watching over me that day I was rushed into hospital, straight to surgery not sure what was happening but I came out alive with a fallopian tube removed and a little baby that never got the chance to even grow. Mentally this destroyed me, I was in a hole that I never felt I could come out of.

I was in pain the doctors thought this was just the symptoms of the misscarriage they kept an eye on me did blood tests and couldn’t understand why HCG levels weren’t dropping, they then sent me for a scan. Couldn’t see anything so thought everything was ok, the levels would drop in time they thought, but why was I still in pain why was I still bleeding this had been going on too long now. Days past by and things got worse I started to feel ill I had a burning sensation in my stomach. My gut told me something wasn’t right but the doctors told me it would be fine. Who was I to argue with the experts??

A few days later again, I got more pale, I had no energy, the pain got worse and I struggled to eat. I went back to work my work colleagues told me how awful I looked (an honest bunch they were) that morning I could hardly stand in work my clients actually told me to ring the hospital but I felt what was the point I had already been numerous times that week, I felt like I was just annoying them now in the hospital.

I called anyways. . .

By this stage the nurses in that department knew me quite well I had been in so much. “Awk Ruth are you still not well?”

I told them my symptoms were getting worse but didn’t want to be a pain as I knew they would be rushed off there feet.

“Maby come in, can you hang off till 12 and we will see you then”

I had been in pain for what felt like forever, so sure what was another couple of hours.

I drove myself over to the hospital walked in and the nurse who had seen me regularly knew today I really didn’t look my best so told me to go to the waiting area and little did I know she called the doctor and the surgeon and she knew something just wasn’t right.

The doctor took me straight away and scanned me, she gasped and told me she didn’t want to say anything too soon but she wanted to wait till the surgeon could see before jumping to conclusions. The surgeon came, looked at the scan and had the same reaction. “This girl needs to go straight to surgery, now please.”

I didn’t know what was happening, I asked what was going on the surgeon said he couldn’t be clear that there was so much blood internally but he thinks it’s an Ectopic rupture, he said I need to get in there to stop the bleeding, I don’t know what I have to do but the bleeding needs to stop and I may need to remove a tube or both. At this stage the pain turned into fear. Fear or not being able to have children, fear of not waking up, fear that this was actually another loss and no one could tell me why this keeps happening. All these things going on in my head but no time to talk or explain really, my life was in danger and the doctors and nurses had my life in their hands.

I woke up to the surgeon telling me the operation was successful, it was an ectopic pregnancy that had ruptured and a tube therefore had to be removed but the other tube was still there, which would allow me to be able to try for a baby at a later stage. Thankful to be awake and highly dosed up on pain relief I couldn’t think about much else at that time.

The after math of all this caused a lot of mental pain, I struggled and still do struggle with these thoughts, even now over a year on. But with the help of friends, family and this charity sharing stories and helping me feel not so alone I feel like I am getting there in terms of coming to terms with it all, I will never fully heal from it all and will always think of those little angels I will never meet but I do know what felt like something I never thought I would recover from, I am getting better ❤️‍🩹

One piece of advice I will give someone feeling this pain is to remember everyone’s story is different everyone feels different and deals with things differently, no one will know exactly how you feel and only you will know that, but please chat to someone, don’t block it out and think you can or should deal with it on your own. This will always be a part of your life but please don’t suffer in silence, reach out and with the correct support the pain and loneliness your feeling can be eased. I probably got on with things to quickly, got back to work too soon and found myself in a hole not sure how to get out of it, only now am I facing up to what really happened last year and I’ve had to reach out for help, there is no shame in it. This can be such a taboo topic that we just don’t talk about but If this helps at least one person then raising awareness and money for this charity will be so worth my while.

Anyone who knows me, knows I am pretty stubborn, I love a challange and I don’t like giving up, so now I’ve committed to something as scary as this very long run 😂Thers no turning back! Please get behind me and support any small donation means so so much!