Rowan’s Journey

As many of you know, we have had an extremely tough pregnancy this time round with lots of medical issues and trips up and down to the hospital with a bleed in my Uterus. Back in May we discovered that Kate’s waters had broken and she was transferred to a london hospital for care. Things were very up and down there and multiple times the team thought bub was coming but each time things settled down. After a week of not a lot happening, we were able to come home (after a month in that hospital and 2 weeks at our local one) but the next morning she ended up back in our local hospital with pains and bleeding.

Later that day she was blue lighted to Norwich and Norfolk hospital where we spent a couple of days in good spirits just sort of… watching and waiting but not expecting much to happen when she suddenly had a lot of pains and it was suspected that there had been a placental abruption. She was taken to theatre and had a very swift C section and our beautiful baby boy Rowan was born at 26weeks and 5 days Gestation weighing just 2lb 4oz.

He was whisked off to the NICU for treatment after I quickly got to glance his face and daddy went with him to see him to settled into his new home for the time being and Kate went to recover with some amazing staff.

We got to be reunited as a family and meet Rowan properly for the first time and touch him at around 3am (no holding yet they said, he’s too delicate). The next day was amazing we could see him as much as we wanted and the ward was right by the NICU so we just popped in and out all day, he had had a scary night they said but was now doing beautifully.

The next day however, he began to show signs of problems with his tummy and he had a lot of different people looking at him doing tests, X-Rays, Scans and more to see what was happening. The surgeons wanted to operate but he was becoming increasingly less stable. It was discovered he’d had a significant bleed on the brain and we had to wait overnight to see if he’d stabilise enough to be able to have surgery the next day. While all this awfulness was happening, to look at, Rowan was the picture of perfection, opening his eyes, looking around, peaceful and perfect. The doctors were a little stumped as to why he was having so many different problems so early on and they wanted to see what would happen, get a second opinion and do some more tests the next day. We were told to call anyone we wanted with us, and were prepped to prepare for the worst. Our parents and our little (big) boy Oakley arrived that night and came and met Rowan. Oakley was interested in his brother and proudly exclaimed ‘baby’ but thought all the buttons were around him were far more interesting in the long run.

The team were still working hard on our boy and doing everything in the power to find out what was happening inside his little body. All while keeping a calm exterior which helped not to panic us too much. We had Rowan Baptised In the early hours of the morning by the hospital Chaplain and with his family present.

The next morning when we went to see him early doors the doctors told us that he had had another bleed to the other side of his brain and there would now be severe life limiting complications to Rowans life forever. We were asked to make the earth shattering and heart breaking decision to keep fighting on and having a LOT more intervention to even get to that point. Or let him rest.

We had a few hours to think as a family and decided that our beautiful little Rowan had fought so hard and been so brave. But enough was enough. We didn’t want him to suffer any more than he may already have done and it was time to let him go with dignity and whilst surrounded with love rather than run the risk of his little body giving up without us there.

Our parents and Oakley came and said their goodbyes, whilst sad, it was beautiful to have all the grandparents together and we took lots of family pictures. Oakley got to see his brother one last time and enjoyed lots of cuddles afterwards from all of us. The grandparents then went home taking Oaks with them.

Later that afternoon after tying up loose ends with paperwork and things, mummy and daddy finally said their goodbyes to the strongest, most beautiful boy. Darren carried Rowan from the Nicu to our room, the first time he had been able to hold him while a nurse kept him on a bag ventilator, we had some photos as a family and both cuddled and kissed him and told him how much we loved him. The Chaplain came and gave him a blessing then too and it was a lovely peaceful time. We were able to give him a lovely bath and repeatedly kissed his little face and reminded him how loved he was and how proud of him we were.

Our hearts are broken for the loss of our baby boy Rowan. but filled with so much love for the joy he brought us in such a short time. We will make sure to say his name often and talk about him always. We ask that you do the same. It may hurt to talk about but please don’t be afraid to talk about him. He was loved, he was here, and he will be remembered and a part of our family forever now.

🤍 🤍 🤍 🤍 🤍 🤍

The fantastic Nicu team at Norfolk and Norwich hospital kept our beautiful boy comfortable and looked after him when we couldn’t be there. The work they do is amazing, not just in the wards with the babies, but the support they provide for families too.

Rather than flowers, we are asking for donations towards this amazing team. We will always be grateful to N&N for their care and compassion of our little boy and us all as a family in the short time we were in their care.

Rowan’s funeral will be held on -

Thursday 25th June 2024 @ 11am at Southend Crematorium - Sutton Road SS92EN

Rowan Kenneth Wakeling

19/06/2024 - 22/06/2024

Our beautiful baby boy Rowan 🤍 you fought so hard and were so strong, 🕊️now it’s time to rest. 🤍

Message from N&N Nicu team

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