Sod it, why wait until the end or middle…. I tried to commit suicide in 2015 and I’m not proud of it. I took the only thing that I could find which was a flat head screw driver and tried to do harm to my left wrist. Luckily I had a friend who stopped me and took me to a military hospital in Stafford that very same day with what I was wearing and that’s it. Thanks Smurf !!

In Staffords Brodie House, I spent the longest 14 days of my life. I was isolated from the world with just the immense thunderstorms of thoughts and 4 walls for company. I simply could not handle anything anymore, this did grip me hard and I almost lost this battle with myself. But I knew I was in a safe place, especially when I was checked on every 15 minutes. I wouldn’t recommend these types of places to anyone, but the people that work there are again exceptional and I’m most grateful to them also.

This wouldn’t be my first time either, I struggled massively when I used to live in Lossiemouth and here in the darkest hours of the night I jumped into the freezing cold North Sea. I can’t remember what it was that brought me round, but I swam back to sore. Here was my first visit to SSAFA.

So I wanted to help those in need, it’s not easy to ever seek help (myself included) so I’m going to be running a marathon in Portsmouth and 1/2 in Oxford, with the aim to complete more between now and the actual event hopefully over 250 miles.

Part of my reason for choosing to support SSAFA is during my 16 years in the service, I’ve struggled with many aspects of my life. These range from leaving home, bereavements, relationships, families, deployments, loneliness, never feeling like anywhere is a place to call home and afford to live there.

I’ll never be free of my own thoughts, but life is what it is and speaking about this doesn’t come easy. And I especially don’t want to draw attention to myself. This is never going to go away, or others in similar situations if there isn’t any help to us like SSAFA.

I’ve been in and out of SSAFA for a long time, you could say I have a loyalty card unfortunately. But without SSAFA’s help, I probably wouldn’t be here today! The help I received has been fantastic. I’ve meet them from all over country and each representative of SSAFA, has treated me with the greatest of respect and advised me where I never thought I could get help.

This isn’t solely for me, but for the many others suffering right now and have suffered over the years with mental health. In comparison to the size of issues that go on in the military, SSAFA is just a drop in the ocean and they need support to.

There’s a photo of myself that I find a significant point in my recovery ❤️‍🩹 and it’s eating an apple from the back of my truck. Here I started to think my positively about things. Each step taken may be a small step, but as they say, Rome wasn’t built in a day 😊.

Please help this worthy cause, as without there help the world becomes a smaller place. Please join me in raising vital funds to support serving men and women, veterans and families who will call on SSAFA, the Armed Forces charity for help in time of need.

Since 1885, thanks to the public's support, SSAFA continues to provide welfare and wellbeing assistance tailored to our Armed Forces community. They know and understand the unique demands of service life, whether in the UK or overseas, and in times of need, they help to enable the Forces family to thrive.

Thank you for visiting my JustGiving page 🏃‍♂️

Many thanks 🙏