Great South Run 2023: In Memory of Oliver’s Parents

Great South Run 2023 · 15 October 2023 ·
A message from Oliver:
"It’s hard to put into words how much I miss you both. I’m inexplicably devastated beyond belief. The world is not what it was without you behind me every step of the way, but I’m determined to continue living life the way you taught me to. With confidence, kindness and positivity. I love you both so much and I will hold you close always."
WHO AM I RAISING FUNDS FOR?
MIND are a charity dedicated to giving advice and support to those with mental health illnesses. MIND campaign to improve services, raise awareness and promote better understanding of mental health disorders.
WHY AM I RAISING FUNDS FOR MIND? *Sensitive Content Warning*
My Dad had no history of ill mental health before this time, but was diagnosed with psychotic depression in June 2022, after a period of rapidly declining mental health in the lead up to and the closure of the business he had worked at for over 50 years and ended up running for the last ~20 years. In the previous months Covid removed many of the social ties Dad relied upon to relax and de-stress, and Covid also brought about incredibly stressful rule changes for the business and also impacted another business Dad & Mum ran together from home - making and selling jewellery.
Not only was Dad experiencing something termed as 'work burnout' without us realising, we now know that it is also not uncommon for a nervous breakdown with psychotic symtoms to occur in someone who has an underlying, undiagnosed, and untreated mental illness. Most commonly, an anxiety disorder or major depression may trigger a nervous breakdown, especially when untreated or when treatment has been neglected. These conditions, when not treated, can make it challenging for an individual to cope with stress that otherwise might not be as significant. A common type of psychosis experienced during a nervous breakdown is a feeling of detachment or depersonalisation. A person may feel as if they are not really a part of any given situation. This can also make someone feel as if they are not really themselves. Symptoms may also include hallucinations, sounds or images that seem real but aren’t really there, as well as delusions and paranoia. These last two may take the form of being irrationally suspicious of family, friends, and other people. Dad experieced this, as well as panic attacks, significant loss of weight, memory loss and in the end a complete loss of his original character and temperament. In his case his eventual severe depression was likely a result of all he was experiencing.
It became clear that Dad had been masking the signs of his illness in the beginning and it was only as it progressed that we became increasingly concerned for him and attempted to seek help, which unfortunately was not as forthcoming or as easy to access as it should have been. Depending on his state of mind, which was in constant flux, Dad often did not see himself as ill, so it was very difficult to encourage him to take his prescribed anti-psychotics and anti-depressants. He was increasingly paranoid, anxious and experienced significant ruminating, suicidal and delusional thoughts, which he struggled to share and make any sense of. Dad received contact from a community mental health team, but struggled to engage given his condition and the large number of people within the team meant he never built up trust with anyone.
Dad made a serious and violent attempt to end his life on the 4th July during a severe psychotic episode and this led to him being sectioned to a hospital for a short period, however, there was no psychological intervention offered to him due to a lack of available resources and poor care planning. Dad was discharged from hospital earlier than expected and had to instead be treated at home via a community mental health team, however, the early intervention for psychosis treatment he should have received was also never delivered. We managed with him at home for a number of weeks, but the wait lists for any psychological support were long and we struggled to make any real progress in helping him in managing his illness. A CT scan revealed Dad had some atrophy of the superior vermis of the cerebellum, which is implicated in many psychiatric disorders, such as schizophrenia, bipolar and other neurodegenerative disorders. There is no cure for cerebellar degeneration and treatment is mostly dependent on underlying cause, in his case this was psychotic depression.
On the 14th September during another severe psychotic episode, Mum was killed. Its unlikely we will ever know exactly how things played out, but Dad also then ended his life. The previous day they had enjoyed a day out with friends, followed by dinner in the evening.
Dad was the most loving, caring, hard-working and generous person you could meet. As a family we do not hold Dad accountable, nor does his psychiatrist, or others that worked with him. Dad was severely ill and was let down by the system that was there to help him.
Just as my parents supported my sister and I consistently for all our lives, we intend to support them and honour their memories by committing every ounce of energy we possess to ensure the circumstances we found ourselves in are never permitted to repeat themselves in the same way as they did.
So, I have three asks of you:
1. Please give as genourously as you are able to in the current economic climate
2. Don't allow yourself to be naive regarding your own mental health and of those around you. Read, explore, discuss, expand. Don't take things at face value or believe you have all the facts.
3. Be kind
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