Help Me #StepUpforMiscarriage this January

My Story

Me and my husband and have been together for 14 years, we have 3 beautiful girls and enjoy a good life.

Things have not always been so easy or bright, we have experienced difficulties, health issues, hardships, loss.

Over the years we have had the opportunity to expand our little family, but sadly things happen and we never have.

I have been pregnant 7 times. Each time was difficult, scary, sad.

Our 1st, after many ups and downs, was successful and arrived a bit earlier than planned.

Our 2nd ended before it began, a day after that positive test.

Our 3rd implanted in the wrong place, causing my health to deteriate, hence a trip to the hospital.

Our 4th was racked with fear, constant hospital trips, reassurance then loss in the second trimester.

Our 5th was again successful, after a multitude of hospital trips, bleeding, contractions and arrived just about on time.

Our 6th was text book as far as pregnancies go, but spontaneous labour happened in the 2nd trimester, resulting in another loss.

Our 7th successful, but hidden during covid months, arriving perfect as can be.

I am a mother to three wonderful girls, who bring me joy, annoyance, pride, anger, but also to four babies who never had the chance to be brought home.

I have lost my faith in my own body.

Guilt, sadness, torment, the endless questioning of why?

These are just a couple of the feelings that go through my head at any given time.

I am 1 in 4. I have experienced recurrent pregnancy loss

Every year on the days of my losses, I go quiet, I light a candle, I grieve.

I am grateful for what I have, but I still hurt for what could have been.

Today I am sharing with you all, because this has to STOP being a taboo subject. I am not alone in these experiences, there are hundreds, thousands of women world wide who share these thoughts, who are hurting in silent, because no one dares talk about it. I am ready to talk about it and so should you.

We need people to talk about it, we need people to realise that this is normal, this happens every day.

We need people to know what to say and if you don't then don't say anything at all.

"I am here for you" instead of "at least you can get pregnant"

"I'm sorry for your loss" instead of "be grateful for what you have"

"Life fucking sucks" instead of "it wasn't meant to be"

Love one another, support one another.

Understand that you can never know what someone else has or is going through.

I want you all to know, that no matter if we have never spoken before or if we are the closest of friends, I will always be there no matter what to listen, to hold your hand, to show the world a middle finger.

You are not alone.

So thats why this January (my birthday month!), I’m taking on the Miscarriage Association’s #StepUpforMiscarriage challenge by pledging to walk 250,000 steps – one step for each of the 250,000 pregnancies estimated to end in miscarriage, molar, or ectopic pregnancy in the UK every year.

I’m proud to be part of Team M.A, raising awareness about pregnancy loss, sharing the vital support services the charity offers, and raising funds to ensure they can continue to be there for those who need them most.

Every donation helps the Miscarriage Association support people through the hardest of times, providing comfort, guidance, and a knowledge for those affected by pregnancy loss.

Thank you for helping me #StepUpForMiscarriage