Thanks for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page.

Donating through JustGiving is simple, fast and totally secure. Your details are safe with JustGiving - they'll never sell them on or send unwanted emails. Once you donate, they'll send your money directly to the charity. So it's the most efficient way to donate - saving time and cutting costs for the charity.

A letter to my Daughter in Heaven…

December 2023…in just a few weeks you should turn 6, 6 years old…

Hi Baby,

Another year without you…and it looks that it is true… you are not coming back.

I don’t know how to start your fundraising, every year since we lost you in 2018, we have raised money in your memory to support Held in our hearts, As you and everybody knows, we love and we support Held in our Hearts team.

Any donation, small or large, will go to Held in our Hearts, who have been helping us,supporting us, guiding us of how to live with the loss of our daughter and sister since minute one.

Even in this  difficult moment, when one day we are trying to achieve the normality and next day we are back down again.

The pain and the grief, nobody takes it away, but you can learn to live with it , we have learnt to survive.

Thank you Held in our Hearts for all that you do for families like ours. You never rest and you are always there, by message, chat, telephone, video calls ...

THANK YOU. Your donations will be invested in "memory boxes", or in professional help ... remember that HIOH is an organisation that offers free services.Any kind of help that they provide to families is free.

Every day 13 babies die in UK, that’s terrible…13 families will be affected by the loss of their wee one… HIOH is there for every family.They have parents groups, Dads group, grands groups, pregnancy group … you are not… we are not alone…The loss of your own child… it’s something that you can’t describe, the pain, the anger, the 1000 of questions and no answers, the uncertainty of ... "what if ..."

But, dear Scarlett, again? Another year, I know you are not here, I know you will not be back, I know I will never see you… after 6 years I have accepted your loss, my loss…

But I’m still struggling with the pain, the pain in my heart, of thinking, imagining… dreaming about “if “ you were here, how our life would be?

And then i remind to myself, to don’t go there, don’t create stories in my head that will hurt me at the end, because they will never come  true.

We continue our life without you, but we keep you present.

We keep your memory alive, not just me… the 4 of us, and also your family and our friends

.I don’t know if you know ,the huge impact that you have made in so many people that you have never met.7 years ago, the news of your arrival it was magic, everybody was happy, everything was going well, you were healthy, strong, active…

You brought happiness not just in our home, you made your family and friends very happy.

Everybody was getting for your arrival, booking flights from different countries, buying you presents, sending you cards… sending you so much love. 

You weren’t even born and you already had so many people loving you.

But one night … on our 35+2 weeks, your heart stopped beating… Why? Is the question, so many “why “questions were in our minds… Why us! Why you?why if everything was perfect? Why if you were strong, healthy, active?why?…

These things happen…we’ve been told… these  things happen…

6 years ago…to process that sentence…it was the most painful thing we could have come across.

After 6 years, we continue working in acceptance, accept that we didn’t do nothing wrong, no matter we feel guilty, acceptance that you are not with us, but we keep your memory alive, acceptance that we are different people, learning every day about this new us, leaving in this world, continue smiling and doing our best , but without you.

We carry you in our heart, in our mind, in our skin, in a picture in our phone, in little signs or symbols that we find during our days …and this doesn’t hurt, this help us to continue our life without you.I miss you, I close my eyes and I can see you…I can feel your little hand, your soft skin and your spiky hear.

You should be 6 next 13/01/2024… and you will be, we will celebrate your birthday, we will buy you some presents, like a nice candle and flowers, we will buy you cake, we will visit the lullaby in princess gardens, but I will be the one blowing the number 6 candle on your cake, wishing for an impossible… to you to come back.

My dear daughter Scarlett, where ever you are, continue discovering the world, someday we will meet again, and we will have time to be together and catch up.

Never forget us, your Daddy loves you you so much, I hope you can see him, you will be very proud of him, continue be present at Eric’s concerts, he miss you so much, but he doesn’t want to talk too much, like your dad, but that’s what I’m here for, but your sister Joy, loves to go shopping, and she finds things for you, like a card, she doesn’t read yet, but she saw a card with pink colours and glitter and she said “ that’s for Scarlett “, but the way, it was a card with a message which says “get well soon”, or a pink bubble for the Christmas tree.

You have a family who loves you so much.Thank you for being part of our family, we will continue keeping your memory alive , as you have been here, you have existed…you are a little person who has impacted so many lives.

Happy birthday my princess.

You will celebrate it with your Abuela Angela and with your Bisabuela Candida.

Love ,Mami, Daddy, Eric, Joy & Max