“And mummy you will never ever be forgotten.”

This is in memory of you 🩵 I love you to the moon and back.

I’m abseiling down the london orbit a 200ft drop to raise funds for @nacoauk

A charity who supports children of alcoholics.

I’m lucky I had a great mum, others arnt so lucky but she had one downfall. She once told me “this life is hell, because we all have our cross to bare” my mums cross was alcoholism. My cross seemed to be exactly that too. I would have done anything to take it from her, but I couldn’t.and as a COA you must remember the three Cs.

You did not cause it

You cannot control it

You cannot cure it

I know now it was not something she chose, but I didn’t always. I thought if I behaved better, tidied up and helped out more, then maybe it would be ok.

A child’s innocence. That quickly turned into skepticism.

Only in the later years I seen the battle, I seen it wrap itself around her. I actually seen it was never even about me. But it had a ripple effect.

Some people would say it’s a choice. It wasn’t. My mum loved me and my sister more than anything. And as much as I wanted to take it from her I couldn’t and I had to stop trying to control it, because it was beyond me. It crippled me because I just wanted to save her.

Addiction is hard, for everyone involved. It never goes away. You wake up each day for them it’s another day of fighting against it. For the children it’s the fear off relapse.

This is only a snippet of my thoughts on it all.

I could write for hours. It was momentary hatred, anger, pity, love, sorrow all feelings experienced in 2 minutes.

It was seeing what an incredible mum your were, but accepting that this disease was here to stay. It was seeing you fight it and I knew it was for us.

Alcoholism is a disease, and that knowledge alone can bring some comfort to those who are affected by it. You realise it wasn’t something you done, it wasn’t because they didn’t love you enough. And like every disease, some people win the fight, others arnt so lucky.

I hope this reaches someone who needs it.

Thank you for the donations 🙏🏻