Update: 9th September 2023 at 20:43, thank you all for your support. I completed the walk at 18:29, I actually walked 26 km due accessibility issues to get onto bridges. I believe that I completed the course around 6 hours and 40 minutes.

I walked ⅔ and ⅓ by wheelchair.

You can follow me on my Instagram

@i_will_win_no_matter

Please follow if you want to get to know me.

Thank you once again.

Like many people who fundraise for charity, they do it probably because they have been impacted/touched by something or someone and want to give back.

I lost my sister Cashleen on the 18th of May 2023 to Suicide. Cashleen was 46 years, 5 months and 8 days old when she took her own life. Out of the 46 years of her life, she spent between 36/38 years in some form of an institution. She was discharged from a psychaitric hospital in late 2020 after being in that institution for over 23 years.

As a family (all siblings) we were estranged from each other due to childhood abuse that occurred in the family home and then in institutional care in Ireland. We grew up in different children's homes on the island of Ireland.

Although Cashleen and I did not know each other well, we were the closest in our family. When we last had a proper chat in 2020 she told me that eventually she would take her own life once she saw our brother who she had not seen for over 30 years. I learnt on the 29th of June that she had seen her brother two weeks before taking her own life.

In 2020, she called me from a 'burner' mobile and did not give me her address. A little voice in my head says I did not do enough to stop her. But in reality, there was nothing more I could have done.

Cashleen taking her own life has taught me a valuable lesson if that is the right thing to say - I struggle immensely with my own mental health - there have been many a time when I wanted to end things but did not. I understand now how my son would possibly feel if I did what Cashleen did.

Too many people live in sadness, loneliness and despair and feel the only way out is to take their own life. They cannot be judged for taking such actions.

I do not have much support in my life and coming into contact with Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide (SoBS) has given me some hope through developing a connection with other people who understand what it is like to lose someone to suicide.

She loved Sunflowers. 🌻 She is sitting on my Buddhist altar, I am dreading the day when I have to let her. I found out her favourite sobg is the same as mine, Fields of Athenry. Her favourite singer is Daniel O'Donnell and in fact she her changed her to his late wife's name, Cashleen.

Cashleen was cremated on 15th August 2023 at 08:30. I brought her home on 22nd August 2023. This is the first time we have been together in 40 years.

As you know that I am normally in a wheelchair, I promise you that I will definately complete 12.5 km out of the 25 km walk. I have been trying to build my strength up and I know that the money raised will help SoBS greatly. All money goes directly to the charity and not me.

From the bottom of my heart, Precious (my dog) and Cashleen, thank you. 💖🌻 (Precious will not be coming on Saturday due to expected heat on the day.)

If you would like to contact me my email is: ccc03052019@gmail.com

(Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide (SoBS) is a national charity that provides support to people over the age of 18 impacted by suicide. The mission of SoBS is to provide free peer support to adults bereaved by suicide in a timely and open-ended manner and our vision is that no one bereaved by suicide has to face their loss alone.)

UPDATE:

My start time has moved from 11:30 to 10 am.

Thank you so much for your support.

❤️❤️😘😘💖💖