Both myself (Andy Purvis) and Tim Cox are raising money for Abigail's Footsteps by taking on the Worlds Toughest Row Atlantic 2024. We are raising funds for Abigail's Footsteps in memory of our friends Alyssa's daughter Rebecca. Please take a moment to read Alyssa's story.

ALYSSA'S STORY

Our daughter Rebecca who was stillborn at term following a 'normal' low risk pregnancy. 

Rebecca was our second child. Feeling her move normally two hours before arriving at hospital in labour, we were excited to be adding to our family. No heart beat was detected once at the hospital.

In a normal delivery room, on a normal delivery ward, Rebecca was silently delivered on 25th May 2011; she weighed 6 lbs 13oz, she was beautiful and perfect. From adjoining rooms to ours we heard the sound of new born babies crying and we saw the new born baby balloons arriving for the other families but, for us, our world had collapsed.

Leaving the hospital without our little girl was the hardest thing we have ever had to do and the weeks that followed are a blur. No parent ever thinks that they will have to register their child's death rather than their birth, nor organise their funeral but in the UK this is the fate 15 parents face every day.

 While in hospital we consented to a pathologist report to be carried out on Rebecca but nothing was found which would explain her death. This is the case for 60% of stillbirths and without any answers our next pregnancy was incredibly tough and lonely. We chose to stay away from family and friends and in many cases did not share the news that we were pregnant again. We were happy to be pregnant again but terrified at the prospect of possibly facing the exact same outcome, a full term stillbirth and the loss of a second child.  

Physically the pregnancy continued well and a plan was set up for me to be induced at 39 weeks. Because of my grief and worry, I was unable to pack my own hospital bag or purchase anything in preparation for the baby now growing inside me. Spontaneous labour began at 38 weeks and Michael and I made the anxious hour-long car journey to the consultant led hospital. Once in hospital, I was examined and told I was in early labour and should go home and wait. In the view of the healthcare workers on shift at the hospital I was 'low risk'. Knowing how my body felt and terrified of losing another child, I made my husband drive me straight to a low risk birthing unit 20 minutes away. I was desperate for support and for the baby to be monitored.  On arrival I was examined and found to be very close to delivery and an ambulance was called to transfer me back to the consult-led hospital I had just come from. It is impossible to convey the fear and anxiety I felt travelling from hospital to hospital that day and it is an experience no couple with a history such as ours should endure at such a vulnerable and emotional time.

Retrospectively, I now wonder whether we would have gone through this additional and unnecessary distress had the staff on shift that day received adequate bereavement training? Abigails footsteps are leading the way in this area. From the provision of bereavement training for midwives and care staff, to the purchase of cold cots, to the production of awareness film through the eyes of a mother whose child is to be stillborn, to the construction of dedicated bereavement rooms away from labour wards, to the production of detailed information booklets with advice and guidance from parents who have already suffered the loss of a child; the charity wants to do all it can to try and ease the pain endured by parents and their families affected by stillbirth.

A year and a day after losing Rebecca our rainbow baby boy Luca was born, healthy and happy.

Since 2010, Abigail's Footsteps have worked to improve the way bereaved parents are cared for by hospitals and to better educate midwives on how to care for grieving parents.

Abigail's Footsteps also help by creating sympathetic space for parents in hospitals, to providing much needed equipment for parents to spend longer with their babies whilst also offering specialist baby loss counselling sessions.

Please help us raise vital funds so we can continue to support bereaved families.

Thank you.

www.abigailsfootsteps.co.uk