Hello! My name is Kirpal, thank you for passing by, I will be introducing myself, explaining the purpose, situation and cause of what you are about to listen to. Also sharing my experience, how it's affected me and what I will be doing going forward

I have had this skin disease called Eczema for the whole of my life. I have had it on the head, face, neck, trunk, arms, legs and feet. I didn't choose to have this and I wish to be happy without it, but that's life. It's time consuming when I need to moisturise my skin regularly and how greasy it can get along with my clothes and bed sheets. I feel like I'm on my own and isolated. From feeling very low and down, to feeling unwanted. I have had the feeling of wanting to commit suicide but nothing had been planned. I then keep going round in circles, I have a long think and a word with myself. I'm thankful for not wanting to end my life but I do end up beating myself up. It affects my confidence, mentally with anxiety, stress, depression and physically. So I need time on my own. I do a lot of walking, listen to religious music which helps me for that length of time. I have to manage my skin with creams, steroids and antibiotics. It is severe and it's not easy at all on a daily basis

I feel depressed, frustrated, angry and sad inside. I try to overcome it outside but I can't, so it's visible and other people will judge and question me. There's other times when I just need to be left alone, sometimes in silence, thoughts to yourself, clear my mind, think and work things through. So from the outside I may look depressed but I feel okay inside and even times when I can feel absolutely fine inside. But I get treated like there is something always wrong with me. My moods swing from time to time so I don't know what is normal anymore. I am soo use to this situation that I have forgotten how it feels to be without this disease. So it's now normal to me. The Eczema, stress and anxiety has lead to weight loss at times or it stays the same and doesn't change

Unfortunately, it's a fact that not everyone truly understands and won't. Due to the reasons such as: not experiencing it yourself, lack of awareness, education and knowledge. But I always have to believe in myself in terms of staying positive. Therefore, unless you really have it yourself it's impossible for everyone to comprehend and be able to share similar experiences

People can be on my back constantly by keep talking to me, involve shouting, ways of annoying me and get a reaction from me. Also just keep asking me questions, asking if i'm okay, why i'm not okay and what's wrong. But hardly any positivity or praise. The negativity feels endless and it's persistent. I have to endure the pain, agony and how crazy it makes me

Eczema is a long term chronic condition and more complicated than you can imagine. There is no cure but I have to manage it the best I can by keeping it under control at all times which is regularly. It is also time consuming when having a wash and a shower. It's a never ending vicious cycle where the skin involves going through many symptoms that I go through such as: dry skin, flakey, bleeding, aching bones and muscles, yellow crust, hair loss and falls out easily, the structure of the Epidermis and layers of the skin are damaged, itchy - keep scratching, stinging - burning sensation, weeping, red, inflamed, cracked, thickening of the skin, flared up, infected, lumps, bumps, swollen enlarged lymph nodes, sweating, blocked ears, discolouration called pigmentation and sleeping problems. I also have to trim my facial hair to get relief from these symptoms. I then have to go through a trial and error with different treatments, diet and 100% cotton clothing. In order for me to keep cool but also not to feel too warm and keeping away from been in the hot weather. I have also had an operation on an ear infection and swollen enlarged lymph nodes

However, I have not given up from my childhood to now. It's been a long journey to end up here where I have been working, I have a job to keep me busy and I have kept going by continously picking myself up regardless. Therefore, I am grateful to get this far and it has got me in a position where I can tell this tale

From been a person with no self-control, low self-esteem, no self-confidence and not knowing how to be in control of myself. Not been capable of knowing what I can do about it in the heat of the moment and getting bullied all the way from School to College. Making me feel as if I'm worth nothing to this world. I wish and I would dream to want to be the total opposite person of this and to know what to do about it

Gradually, moving on which seemed forever, the bullying got away from me but I had finally learned to get myself away from this too. But finally I had to say to myself and admit that I have a condition called Eczema. It doesn't matter what others say or think of me and that now I finally have control of myself. By knowing what's right for me and if I need my own independance then that's what I need. One thing for sure is going for a long walk as it is therapeutic and drinking a lot of water

I have a lot of difficulty, stress and pressure that I carry on my back. Also the people that want to control me and at the same time it's impossible to tell everyone everything they want to know or what I am doing or where I am or what I am going through

Having had all this ruin my health and life to a large extent, it hasn't stopped me from passing without faliure. I haven't let it happen and I just get through it. I have installed in myself for a very long time to get on with it, just having the will power to not give up and keep going. Staying calm, friendly and professional

I think all Eczema sufferers should be looked at as all same minded human beings and not to be compared. So therefore, I went against just not doing anything about the struggles of having a life with Eczema. I thought this is the best way to get this moving forward from deep down from my heart

In the end, I eventually decided to create a JustGiving page for Fundraising. Which is for donations that goes directly to the National Eczema Society. I am also doing fundraising events and activities. You can follow me on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook

Thank you!