My second child, Jasper Eric Hawkesford was born on 16th July 2014 at Warwick hospital, weighing 8lb 2oz. Sadly, mine and Jon's beautiful little boy and Tessy's perfect baby brother was only to live for six and three quarter hours. We were unaware at the time, but Jasper had internal abnormalities that caused him to have extremely underdeveloped lungs. He could never have survived.

During this time Jasper, myself and my whole family were cared for with skill, care, dignity and compassion by the entire team of staff from delivery suite and SCBU. They worked tirelessly in attempts to save Jasper and when it became apparent he was not going to live, they facilitated a beautiful, calm and loving environment for us to say goodbye to our son as he died in my arms. The staff allowed and encouraged us to make some magical, priceless memories, taking hundreds of photographs and having our family (including 3 year old Tessy) meet Jasper and share in the sorrow but also the joy of him. We will treasure every detail of that time forever. Nothing ever was too much trouble for them, despite the fact the department was very busy. In short, our care was and continues to be a huge positive in an incredibly negative situation.

The staff's ability to provide such fantastic care is all the more commendable due to the uniqueness of my story. The staff that I speak so fondly of are, in fact, my friends and colleagues. I am a midwife at Warwick hospital. I have worked alongside these people for the past 11 years, knowing what a special unit it is, staffed by some of the best midwives, nurses, doctors and support staff. I have always known what a great job they do, often under appreciated and in very difficult situations, but now I know it from the other side. I cannot underestimate how difficult it was for them all to provide my care when they were so emotionally involved and yet they remained so professional, and in the midst of feeling that the world had stopped still as mine did, they continued to provide their usual standard of uncompromising care for all the other families on the department.

I don't know yet if I will ever feel able to return to them in the job that I love, but I will always feel a part of the Warwick maternity and SCBU family. With this in mind, as a huge thank you and as a tribute to our son we wish to raise money for Warwick maternity unit and SCBU. We plan to organise or partake in several fundraising events. With my connection to the department and knowledge of how the money could be best spent we will be sure your money is put to good use.

Lastly, Why Jasper's Rainbow? There were an unusual amount of rainbows in England during the summer of 2014. The first of which shone spectacularly directly over Warwick hospital during the brief time that Jasper was in the world. He is our rainbow: here fleetingly, filling the world with his wonder.

Holly Jon and Tessy Hawkesford xxxx

May 2024 Edit:

I returned to work on delivery suite at Warwick hospital in August 2015 and have worked there happily since then. I now predominantly work in maternity research and am a bereavement champion at the hospital, working closely with our bereavement midwife and helping to ensure all funds raised are well spent. Jasper is with me every day at work and my wonderful colleagues (old and new) speak his name regularly and keep him very much a part of our work family.