Alzheimers & My Mum & Dad

In 2008 my mother (Lynne) Evelyn Eastham sadly got the news that any family would dread "She had Alzheimers Disease".

Following a mild stroke, confusion, upset and hallucinations seemed to creep up on her. Our family, with very little understanding of how to cope with this wretched illness, watched and learnt almost on a day to day basis as it ate away at our emotions and devastated both my mother & my father.

The lack of knowledge and understanding is very apparent in regards to NHS facilities and dementia sufferers. In my mothers case this was plain to see with anger, stress and anxiety the norm for our family as we struggled to cope with both the mental and physical issues that she suffered.

During this time we contacted the Alzheimers Society and our lives changed almost immediately. They allowed us to meet families, husbands and wives who had stories of their own. They took the stress away and changed the emphasis of care to incorporate my father and our family. They helped my father cope with some of the most difficult decisions he would ever have to make, the biggest being letting my mother go into care. The guilt that he suffered during this time was only bearable due to the efforts of The Alzheimers Society and our family support, however I truly dont think he's ever recovered from that decision.

In 2013 my mother moved into residential care at a fabulous nursing home called Springhill Care Home in Oswaldtwistle. These guys are amazing!! And although my mother is now in paliative care at the end of what has been a horrible end to her life she is in the best possible place she can be.

On friday 14th Feb 2020 four weeks after his 80th birthday we got the devastating news that my Father Brian has now got this god forsaken disease!! Devastated is in fact an understatement as our family yet again have to watch as Alzheimers Disease unravels the life of such an amazing person, filling him with fear and confusion. Amazingly even after diagnosis my dad still worries about our family more than himself! Daily and usually following his hallucinations he calls to ask if everyone is safe despite the fact that no-one was actually in danger. He sees people and animals in his house that interupt sleep and routine but still my mother was his priority. 

In February of this year my dad joined my mother in Spring Hill care home where at very least he got to spend time with mum during her last days. I suppose this would have been a nice opportunity for them  to finally be back together however, yet again we suffer the frustration as COVID locks down our care homes.

Since I posted the previous part of my story my Mother has sadly passed. The anger and frustration in her not being able to share in my children growing up and enjoying retirement with my dad will never cease, although she is now at peace and thankfully she went quietly with with both my sister and I present. My whole focus turns to dad who is now like many others, lonely, frustrated and cut off from society other than the odd window visit. Luckily our care home is fantastic!!

I know the next fews years are going to be very hard. No amount of medicine, tears, anger or resentment will beat this disease for my dad and believe me the frustration I feel because of this is absolutely unbearable

The only thing I can hope for is that the lessons learnt today change the outcome for tomorrow. Its a reality that the Alzheimers gene may affect me, my children and friends family & people around me however i live in hope that it doesnt. Our efforts today will change lives in the future im sure.

The alzheimers Society has rearranged its fundraising events numerous times in 2020 but have been again and again  thwarted due to Covid 19. As a result my fantastic friends organised a 26 mile hike over the beautiful lancashire countryside and we completed the challenge on the 10th October.

As we bring this event to a close "Please will you offer a small donation for me and Sarah. Every penny means so much.

A big thankyou for those who completed the hike.

Sarah Rushton

Paul Douglas

Helen Brooks

Stephen Target

Karin Target

Steve Neary

Sam Marshall