Peter, my father was diagnosed with dementia at the age of seventy-eight. A wonderful father and husband, fun loving, gregarious family-oriented person who loved dancing, rugby and listening to music. 

Initially, when you receive a diagnosis of dementia for a loved one your entire world is falling apart. We all as a family, found it exceedingly difficult from the outset to come to
terms with what this would mean for us all. More especially our Mum, Jean, and the impacts that this would have on her. Everything seemed very fragmented and obtaining advise was extremely hard. We did not know which way to turn or more importantly how to manage the situation and what was to come. 

It was not long before the typical symptoms and signs of dementia began to become more evident in Dad. Subtle things at first,
memory loss, forgetfulness, miss placing things, struggling to follow and keep up with conversations. Then after a few years Dad lost his driving license and was not allowed to drive again, the impacts of this were huge not only to dad who did not understand why this was happening but as Mum did not drive, her world that day changed for ever.

Dad deteriorated rapidly and this illness began to take  such a hold on him it was heart breaking to watch. His speech started to deteriorate so much he could not hold a conversation struggling to get words out, His mobility worsened making it exceedingly difficult for him to move easily and not without supervision. On occasions Dad became very frustrated and anxious with himself and those around him causing us concerns and worry about his safety, this at times proved to be extremely challenges and upsetting to deal with. However, we all knew that this was not the wonderful, much-loved Peter, the husband and father that we loved so dearly. He then started to try and get out of his home, not recognising the house he had lived in with our mother for 58 years. This aggressive and unpredictable behaviour was truly awful and upsetting.  

Caring for someone with dementia is like living on a knife edge;
it is so unpredictable and certainly has its challenges. You go through so many mixed emotions, pity, anger, frustration and even despair. Often waiting for a glimmer of the 'old Peter' which was non-existent. We thought that we would be able to manage and to care for dad ourselves, but gradually we realised that he was not safe in his on home, and mum could no longer cope and that we needed support. Then after dad had a number of nasty falls, we then made one of the toughest decisions that we had to do. 

In February Dad moved into  a wonderful dementia friendly nursing home. It is one journey I will never forget, my sister and I driving dad to his new home. Once he was in the care home, the deterioration continued. Each time he declined more, it would feel like we were already
grieving, as bit by bit we lost more pieces of him. He began to lose his speech so much so that he would only make small noises. He no longer knew who Mum, my sister Kerry and I really were, which
was so painful. At this point, he could not feed or dress himself, walk or communicate. His mobility began to slow down until
finally he became bed bound. It was like he had disappeared, and all that was left was a body. It was horrendous to watch. Soon after this, his swallowing reflexes began to stop working which caused difficulties eating. 

Then, one Saturday in March 2022, we got a call from a carer
letting us know that things were not looking too good. Dad had caught an infection and was struggling to swallow and breathe well. We stayed for the whole weekend with dad, surviving on little to no sleep, watching him and waiting for the moment. He was unconscious – we knew the end was nearing. Knowing how much pain and discomfort he must be in and not being able to do anything about it was extremely distressing. On Monday March 14th, Dad sadly passed away.

Despite the pain it caused us, it was a slight relief to know
that he was now in peace and no longer living with the cruel disease that is Alzheimer’s. My wonderful dad had now gone forever, due to one of the worst diseases I have ever witnessed.

So, myself, my sister and my amazing friends and family are trekking together across the Brecon Beacons- 26 miles!! 

Team PRHS, which stands for Peter, Robert, Henry, Sexton, my amazing Dad Alzheimer’s research something very dear to my heart and if you can spare anything a donation would be amazing. Alzheimer's absolutely sucks, it has destroyed my family.

Tracy & Kerry xx