October next year I plan on running from Plymouth to Sheffield or more precisely Home Park Stadium to Hillsborough, home of that football team of mine. I hope to do this within 10-14days, which means; depending on route(s) I will run somewhere in the region of +300miles, so potentially running 14 consecutive Marathons (having just completed my first ever official one). I will do this for the charity Mind for just some of the reasons detailed below:

At a best a friend’s 40^th this year, a few of us close mates sat around the table. One friend started mentioning that on one occasion during his darkest days he contemplated driving his car into a wall/off a cliff. I sat listening looking at the others around the table, including one friend who I know has had similar struggles, and another who also made an attempt like the description above (thankfully having come through relatively unscathed).

So, there I am sat there thinking, is this the time to ‘come clean’ and off-load my own struggles? But instead, I stayed silent, still slightly scarred from that period where life felt hopeless, impossible and that these feelings would never end. This hopelessness and continued negative thought process led me to question taking my own life, on multiple occasions.

This is a small group of friends and out of 5 of us sat around a table at least 80% have contemplated taking our own lives! 

All suffering from the same thing….. our own minds.

The National statistics support this and are equally alarming: Suicide Is The No. 1 Killer Of Men Under 45 In The UK . In 2017, a staggering 6,213 suicides were recorded in the UK alone. With 77% of suicides by men.

The challenge I’ve set myself is purely cathartic, I’ve been fortunate enough to come through the other side of a long period of poor mental health. I have suffered with an Anxiety Disorder for as long as I can remember, which latterly saw me decline into a state of depression. It was basically what would have been described years ago as a mental break-down!

Though the image of that term looks far different from what the outside world sees. I think people imagine a mental breakdown looks like something extreme; Someone sticking crayons in their ears and smearing Bible scriptures on the walls in their own faeces.

But it doesn’t It looks like the photo I’ve used in this blog.

This photo was taken during a particularly difficult period, and it stands out to me as I remember almost shamefully, certainly painfully the thoughts I was having. How could I? When I’ve got the most amazing family in the whole world, including my two amazing little ladies! Yet my only ‘logical’ solution, the only way I could silence my mind, end the pain would be to do the unthinkable……

I’m seeing more and more frequently scenes like mine being used, photo’s that were taken days before some poor chap takes their own life! The image of what’s portrayed is a million miles from what's actually going on. The highest profile recently would be Chester Bennington…. I’m sure everyone’s familiar with that image (if not please Google it). 

The challenge… Plymouth my home city and a place of true beauty that I’m incredible proud of. I couldn’t think of a better starting point. Slightly less practical but equally as meaningful... the finish line will be to that football stadium which has seen me do the journey 100’s of times since my first visit in 1989, nearly always coming away disappointed: Hillsborough. Although at least this time I wouldn’t have paid for the fuel up there!

Like I’ve mentioned this a personal pilgrimage but one I invite anyone who’d care to, to join me.

During my event I intend on putting out a daily blog on my journey through tackling Mental Illness, things that worked and things that didn’t, my experiences including battles with alcohol and non-prescription medication, and latterly overcoming physical injury (mind/body being intrinsically connected).

 I’ll be keen to address the difference between an Anxiety Disorder which completely dictates the thoughts, actions and life of the sufferer and the word ‘anxiety’ which is being used out of context a lot, anxiety being our natural survival tool, and extremely vital to our existence when at the correct state.

If it helps just one person or encourages someone to speak out or at the very least make them feel they’re not alone then it’ll have been worth it, and I can pay-forward the knowledge that has been passed onto me and in a small part contribute to the growing movement of normalising Mental Health issues. Slowly but surely removing that stigma.

I plan on doing a few warm-up events throughout the year including a 50 Mile road race and there’s the potential of bringing back the ‘Lockdown Beard’ for a Marathon attempt. During this time, I’ll share information about my chosen charity and the great work they’re doing throughout the country.

Mind’s tagline really stood out for me "We're here to make sure no one has to face a mental health problem alone". It’s no secret that the NHS is worryingly overwhelmed and struggling to cope with its ever-growing demands. Organisations like Mind are going to be invaluable in OUR battle with tackling the Mental Health epidemic, a seismic task.

For now, thank you for taking the time for reading and if you could spare a couple quid or some much needed words of support, either would be greatly appreciated.

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