It is hard to comprehend that anyone should feel fear when they are in a relationship however this is a scary existence for so many people.

 

For any outsider they look at those who are suffering abuse within a relationship and they don't understand. Comments such as, 'they are stupid they should get out', or, 'well they are stubborn and they won't be told' are often heard, but they couldn't be so far from the truth.

 

When you are in an abusive relationship your instincts are to survive, to try to protect you and if you have children, your children. You walk around on eggshells, when you sleep at night you make sure you don't touch them or breathe too loudly that you annoy them. You are only half sleep just in case. And you see the looks form those around you and the humiliation is choking. No one likes to come to your home which then fuels their comments that no one cares about you and that you really are worthless but 'they' love you!

 

All you want is a hand from someone to say its ok; I'm here when you’re ready to take that step. And when you do the fear disappears for a second, you become brave and you stand up. But that isn't the end of it because once you've stood up and faced your enemy (the person whose supposed to love you) you are then left with the next stage of fear. Can I do this, should I go back, the abuse gets worse and you feel like you're falling.

 

Refuge is a charity that is the hand that will help and support you through the stages of the steps you take to get your life back. It is frightening and the challenges never stop, you become stronger but you survive because that’s what you know. You never really recover as the scars whether mental, sexual, physical or emotional are always there but you are able to breath and sleep at night safely. You will smile and laugh and live xx

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