In June 2024 (*postponed trip due to Covid), I will be attempting a 5 day trek of the Alps, in order to raise much-needed funds for “Once Upon a Smile” - a Manchester based child bereavement charity.

In August 2019, after a 4-year battle, my husband Phil (age 43), died of secondary testicular cancer. I became a widow at 36 and our 2 young boys, Walter (then 4) and Arthur (then 3), lost their beloved daddy. After Phil died, Walter in particular struggled with his grief and found the permanence of death very difficult to understand. He also had lots of difficult questions and would have nightmares about daddy dying. He also expressed fear of other loved ones dying too. 

I tried to access child bereavement support, but there was none. Everywhere I looked, the funding had been pulled or there just wasn’t a service available in the first place. I eventually came across a wonderful charity called “Once Upon a Smile.” They are a dedicated child bereavement charity who were able to offer group therapy sessions and 1:1 support for the boys.  

Talking about death and dying is difficult as a parent, especially when you’re grieving too, so having somebody there to talk to the children and give them honest, accessible, age-appropriate information in a warm, friendly, non-scary environment was for me, a bright light in the darkness. All the therapy sessions were done through play and the boys absolutely loved going to them! Walter is a very emotionally mature little boy, and he was always very conscious of upsetting me. During the sessions, he was able to talk about Daddy to somebody outside of the family, without his overwhelming urge to protect my feelings.

The HQ of “Once Upon a Smile” is called Sidley House - a purpose-built facility in the South of Manchester. It houses dedicated spaces for children to express themselves and to hang-out with other bereaved peers, nurturing a sense of community. Grieving children often feel alone because they may not know anyone their own age who has experienced the death of a parent or sibling. Friendships made within the group help to validate each other’s feelings and lessen their sense of isolation.

Sidley House briefly comprises of a THERAPY ROOM, ARTS & CRAFTS HUB, MUSIC ROOM, BAKING ROOM, CHILL-OUT ROOM FOR TEENS, PARENT ASSESSMENT ROOM and also a HOLISTIC ROOM where families can engage in meditation, mindfulness and massage. The centre also has a SNUGGLES & SMILES room where the children are given the opportunity to create a beautiful memory bear with the hope that the bear will provide comfort to them during difficult times.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, many charities such as OUAS have seen massive reductions in funding and fundraising, but the problem of child bereavement has not gone away. In fact, with the increase in COVID deaths across the country, the problem has only gotten worse. 

If you could donate to my challenge and help this amazing charity, I will be forever grateful. Without the wonderful people at OUAS, the boys and I would have received very little support or guidance throughout our grieving process and that is a terrifying thought. I would love for other families to be able to access this resource and feel as supported as we have.

Thank you SO very much

Sarah, Walter & Arthur 

Xxx