Soon it’ll be a year since you died. Soon it’ll be a year and a months since you were diagnosed.

You were a friend, a confidant and so much more. You always saw and brought out the best in me. But now you’re gone and I’ve lost more than a person in a single moment in time, I’ve lost a presence in every aspect of my life. My present and future has changed forever.

I want your death to have as much of a positive impact, as your life did.

Which is why I’m raising money towards cancer research. Maybe one day, together we can prevent someone else having to go through the loss I’m going through.

I suppose we all have different ways of dealing with grief and loss.

You were the kind of person who, when you found out you were dying, started planning to make sure everyone else would be okay in your absence.

You were the kind of person who would think you were getting too much attention now. That there’s someone who needs this attention more than you do.

You were the kind of person who knew what kind of person I wanted to be, what kind of person I aspired to be and gave little gifts that would make my journey just a little easier.

You were the kind of person who would illuminate an entire room by just showing up.

Without you, the journey is not as easy.

I fucking hate cancer.

Fuck cancer.

I miss you. We all miss you. But you will always live on in those little moments were your impact resonates through time and space.

I love you Amanda.

I’ll see you in that place between sleep and awake.

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