So, it looks like i'll be running a marathon on the 21st of April 2024. 😳This will be just two days before the anniversary of my Dads passing. So what better way to honour it and him, then by doing an activity he absolutely hated and would have said "are you mad" if I could tell him what I was doing. (Running 10k for him when he was alive made him question my sanity as it is.)

So why run a marathon you ask? Buckle up, here's why. 

When I first decided to put my name down into the ballot, I put it down because I wanted to do something that would make my Dad proud. Something to show that he was still a big part of my life and most importantly, to bring awareness to Parkinson's Disease and Lewy Body Dementia. When Dad was diagnosed it was too late to essentially "pause" the disease at the stage it was because he received treatment too late. I remember the consultant saying to him, "we should have seen you two years ago." It took all my strength to not get angry and say "trust me, we've been trying." As the years passed we missed out on a lot of support for Dad as well as my Mum as his full time carer. We were not made aware of things such as the memory clinic, we didn't know that there where places Mum could go to, other than me for emotional and practical support. The information was out there, we just didn't know where or how to access it. So this is why the start of this was to raise awareness for those who continue to be affected by Parkinson's and Dementia but then something changed.

As I was writing out why I wanted to run for charity, application after application, I began to realise something. I want to run for more than just my Dad and his memory. After all, he never thought of himself, he was always one to think of others. I want to run for my Mum, for the people I know who suffer with their mental health but still carry on day in and day out......and I want to run for ME. 

My Mums mental health was severally affected during her time caring for my Dad at home while he was coming to his final months. For the first 2 years she took it in her stride, but I saw over time she lost a little bit of herself every time we saw Dad loose a bit of himself. Not surprise after nearly 40 years together and both of them still being young as parents go. However, she handled it with such grace, poise and never showed her struggle outwardly to anyone even me. She was the picture of strength on the outside but inside her mind, she was suffering. Even now, she has her bad days/weeks but she says that that's okay. That its okay to not be okay, to seek help and guidance when things are tough and this is something I wish I believed in the past and I wish others who have had similar life experiences to me knew too. 

I myself have suffered with my mental health for the majority of my adult life. I am ashamed to say (although I know I shouldn't be) that I have been on and off medication for the last 13 years. I have been to therapy for various different reasons and I have had to teach myself ways to bring myself back when my mind has gone, to be able to live my life. 

I honestly do not think I will ever fully understand why I have suffered with anxiety and depression for so long. Why I cannot just "be okay" but I have learned, with the help of people like friends and family as well as my therapists, reading every self help book and talking when I feel like being quiet, that the life events that have happened to me do not define who I am. I want other people to know, that their past events do not define them either. That they are not alone in feeling alone, scared, or questioning "why me". 

I want people to know that they are not the result of their past ED. They are not the result of the years of emotional and physically abusive relationships they have been in. There are people around them who are so glad that the attempt of being erased from this earth did not work. That they are not the only carer who wishes they could just have an hour alone. They are not the only person who wishes they didn't wake up now that their loved one has gone. 

So this is why I am running a marathon. Why I am choosing to share my stories. Why I am putting myself to the challenge of raising £2000.00 for MIND Charity. 

Will you help me bring awareness to the help and support out there for everyone, young and old? Will you help me share the work of a charity that is there to help millions of people each year who suffer from Mental Health issues and to show that they are not alone? I hope so. Because yes, it can be done solo but it's so much more fun and rewarding when doing something together. 

Follow my journey over on my social medias, keep upto date on Fundraising and see me face the challenge of 26.2 miles. If I can get through what I already have, I can get through this!

A Little Bit about MIND:

When you're experiencing a mental health problem, supportive and reliable information can change your life. That's what we do. We empower people to understand their condition and the choices available to them through the following:-Our Infoline, which offers callers confidential help for the price of a local call.-Our Legal Line, which provides information on mental health related law to the public, service users, family members/carers, mental health professionals and mental health advocates.-Our award-winning information, certified by the PIF Tick."Mind was such an invaluable source of information. I can't put into words how helpful they were for both of us..."