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On the 6th of July 2009 the news of my brother's death on holiday in Thailand changed my life forever. I had just come home from rehearsing for Glyndebourne and there was the phone call that you can never really prepare for. Cameron was my only sibbling and although we were close we didn't see each other very often. He lived in Scotland and I was in London with Rachel and the kids and a busy schedule with the LPO. When we did get together at the traditional times of year we all had a great time and the fact we didn't see enough of each other didn't bother us unduly. I think it was the sort of situation that we thought that when our lives were a bit less busy we would spend  time in later life doing some more of the things we did as kids etc. It has been a painful lesson to learn that you can't bank on tomorrow to do things that you could have done today. Nearly three years on and I cannot honestly say where I am with it all.. Most of the time I don't let myself think about it too much or the impact it has had on my elderly parents. They have been amazing and I don't know how they carry on sometimes. I am incredibly lucky to have the distraction of a beautiful wife and three kids that I could never have dreamt I'd ever have. Cameron and I spent most of our time as kids mucking about on bikes of various types and it was fundimental to our relationship. Cameron really got into the racing bikes which never really interested me until after his death. I made a pact with myself to carry on in his footsteps and try and achieve a few things on a bike before I become an old crock. The only time I really allow to myself to think about Cam is when I'm out on the Bike. Those solitary hours are a good time to get some good thinking done and I feel that he is sort of there with me at those times. Sorry if that sounds a bit sentimental but the amount of times he dragged me over some horrific Scottish mountain pass with encouragement and motivation are still there now as they will be on Sunday May 13th 2012 when I do the Etape. There is not really the space here to describe what an amazing and talented person Cameron was but his inspiration will continue to motivate my life always.