On the 26 July 2012 while sitting in my mates van I had a sudden cardiac arrest.

I had set out that day to give my old mate Frank a hand laying a small patio for someone in his family. As we started setting the area out and preparing for the job, it began to rain. We decided to take shelter in the van, and the last thing I remember is talking to Frank then waking in Dumfries and Galloway Royal Infirmary (DGRI) three days later. I have no recollection of feeling particularly unwell that day, but do remember drinking a lot of water over the morning as I had a serious thirst.

In the van Frank noticed my hand shaking near the gear stick and tried to speak to me. When he realised there was something seriously wrong he took the decision to drive me to the local clinic in Dalbeattie where he knew someone would know what to do. Once there Frank, Dr Sebastian Pflanz and others took me into the clinic. Dr Pflanz checked me over and realised I had no detectable pulse, so then started CPR while his team called for an ambulance and prepared the defibrillator.  I received a shock from the defibrillator which re-started my heart. Once the paramedics arrived they stabilised me and took me to DGRI, where I remained for just over three weeks. I was fitted with an ICD (internal defibrillator) before being allowed home.

To this day no one knows why this happened to me, but I have accepted that the defibrillator is there to protect me in case it ever happens again. Although medical staff can deal with the physical problems, it is more difficult to deal with how you feel. To everyone around me I appear the same having a laugh and a joke, but I don’t feel the same as I used to and feel different from others around me. This feeling is very strange and difficult to describe, but I have accepted that the feeling may always be with me and I need to move on.

 It took me many months to get over this as I used to run, cycle and use the gym and found it hard to understand why it may have happened. The situation was being made worse as I was gaining weight doing nothing due to being worried about what may happen if I started exercising again.

Dr Pflanz eventually encouraged me to get my running trainers back out in April 2013 and I haven’t looked back since. Although I am still carrying a bit of extra weight I feel a lot more confident now and have been involved in the formation of the Dalbeattie Civic Running Club for joggers and runners alike. My confidence has improved so much that I have taken on the role as the Mr Motivator warm up man for the running club.

I can never thank Frank, Dr Pflanz or any of the other medical staff who helped me enough for giving me a second chance, which I feel should not be wasted. This is why I have decided to run the Edinburgh Marathon on 25 May 2014 for the British Heart Foundation.

So wish me luck and I will let you know how I get on.

Many thanks for taking the time to read my story.

Steven Mckillop

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