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In April 2018, my wife gave birth to our first son, Elian. He was stillborn.

Two days earlier, we had been to the hospital for a scan, expecting to be reassured that everything was fine as my wife's due date approached.

Everything changed in a few minutes. The scan was not fine. Our baby had died.

Ever since the first time we read a Sands information booklet in the hospital just after being given that horrible news that changed our lives, Sands has been deeply important to us.

Three weeks after Elian was born, my wife and I, with my sister and brother-in-law, attended the 2018 London Marathon to cheer on the Sands runners near the finish line. We were with the official Sands cheerers and wore our Sands t-shirts with pride. We found great comfort in those very early days of being around other people who had experienced what we were feeling. I was inspired by the Sands runners I saw that day and became determined to run the London Marathon myself for Sands in future.

From that day of first wearing a Sands t-shirt, I have worn the Sands name with pride ever since. I ran Berlin Marathon later that same year wearing Sands vest with my son’s name on the back. By chance, I found myself next to another Sands runner near the finish line, and we ran together for a short while, giving each other encouragement. You can see the photo on this page.

More recently, I have been one of a small but growing number of dads who are the first members of Sands United London FC, the first London club in the Sands Utd network of football teams for bereaved dads. The sense of belonging and mutual support I feel with this new group has been incredible. We have bonded immediately over our common experiences, love for our lost children, and attachment to Sands. I am proud to say that I will be running for my boy but also each and every child of my new teammates.

I wanted to run in the London Marathon since before I knew about Sands, but ever since we lost our son I have only ever wanted to run it for Sands. I am so excited to run in London, my adopted home and the city where my first son and his younger brother (born 1 year later, alive and well) were both born. From crossing the start line to falling over the finish line in Berlin, I carried Elian with me. Now I want to carry him home.

All donations, no matter how big or small, make a huge difference to someone. 

You can read more here:
https://www.sands.org.uk/about-sands/how-your-support-makes-difference

Please scroll down for my fundraising updates for examples of where your money goes!

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