Nina's (my wife's) story: My family first came into contact with Sobell House back in 1997. My dad David had been diagnosed with a frontal astrocytoma brain tumour back in 1990 when he was 43.
He was operated on and received radiotherapy at the time. This enabled him to stay alive for a further 7 years but he never regained his quality of life from before that diagnosis continuing to have epileptic fits and increasingly needing support with day-to-day tasks. After a stay in hospital over Christmas 1996 Dad saw the neurologist and was told that the tumour had returned and it was terminal.

As you can imagine the news was devastating for my family. My dad was only 49 years old. 

We were referred to Sobell House and were invited to take dad along for a visit. I can remember that visit like it was yesterday.  Me and mum were very nervous and unsure what to expect but dad thankfully by this point was largely unaware of anything that was going on. He had been increasingly confused, struggling to remember who we were at times and where we were living. He sometimes thought me and my sister were still at school and would want to get his shoes on to go down to school and collect us. He would get quite upset when you contradicted him so for the most part, we just went along with it. If I'm completely honest on arrival at Sobell House, I felt a bit defensive not quite ready to believe that anyone else could look after my dad and that he surely wasn't going to die. Within a few minutes this disappeared as we were shown around and it was explained to us how they could support us. We began to see what a special place this was.

For the next few months dad went in for regular day visits where they would shower him (we could no longer get him in and out of the shower at home) and get him involved in lots of different activities. This was a huge help for my mum in particular, as she was dad’s full time-carer, and this was taking a huge emotional and physical
toll on her. He then went in for a period of respite in the May of 1997. We visited him daily and were welcome anytime day or night. He had a wonderful room with outdoor area, the hospice was in the old building at this time. Dad was treated like a king and so well looked after. He loved the food, and drink which was brought round on a drinks trolley at every mealtime. About a week into his stay my mum made her usual morning phone call to see how my dad had slept and how he was doing and was told that dad had not woken up yet. This was
very unusual and we immediately went in. Dad never did regain consciousness again and died peacefully surrounded by his family about 4 days later. It was a beautiful warm sunny evening and I can honestly say was the worst day of my life. My dad was about 5 weeks short of his 50^th birthday. The staff were amazing offering us emotional and practical support in the immediate
aftermath and also, for many months after with counselling given to my mum and regular check-ins for the family at large.

My family have never got over losing my dad when he was so young. Me and my sister were both in our early twenties and my mum was only 47 when she became a widow. His grandchildren never got to meet him and I often think how different our lives would be if he was still here.

Having the support of Sobell House during this time was something we will be forever grateful for and would hope that any family going through an event like this would be able to benefit from their help and support. Sobell house is hugely dependent on fundraising to enable them to offer this unique service.

My husband Richard and son Euan, although they never met my dad, have been touched by the effect of us losing him so young and hearing all the stories about what a funny, genuine and loving man he was and felt that they would like to do something to support a charity so close to our hearts.

Please dig deep and sponsor what you can.