Goodbye cancer. 

Hi, my name is Abbie and i have been affected by cancer many times. So this is my story. Brace yourself, it's a long one ;) haha

You see, my family have a rare gene called Li Fraumeni which causes cancer, my family always has to be different. However this gene is rare becuase it can cause any sort of cancer, from bone cancer to leukemia, as my brother found out when he was 16 and again when he was 27, luckily with medical help he survived, but not everyone is so lucky. My auntie Adele was diagnosed with brain tumour, which later turned into leukemia, she was treated with both radiotherapy and chemotherapy, but sadley passed away at the age of  32.  My sister also got diagnosed with a brain tumour 24, she went to the doctors with sever headaches for years but the doctors keep shoving her away. By the time they found the tumour it was too late, although she had radiotherapy it wasn't enough and she passed away at the age of 25. Sadly i was only young when my auntie and sister died, 4-6 years of age. I didn't get a chance to get to know them properly and the only memory i have off my aunite is me not giving her a hug becuase her bald head scared me haha.

Now comes the part in my life wherer a little part of me died inside. When i was 15 my mum was diagnosed with a soft tissue sarcoma. At the time i was having surgery on my hip and she was having to push my in the wheelchair. The tumour presented itself like lump on her leg, so she assumed it was from pushing the wheelchair and she didnt get it checked out straight away. It was only when she was going for a routine mammogram that she mentioned it to our gene specialist. She had a biopsy which confirmed it was cancer. She had surgery to remove the tumour which was 27cm in diamiter. With this she also had chemotherapy, which made her so ill, however everyone always said she looked so well because she always wore fake tan haha. The chemotherapy didn't work and the cancer spread to her lungs. There was nothing that could be done. The doctors didnt know how long she lad left so we had to make the last days? months? years ? off her life special. She had a bed donwstairs in the living room and i slept downstairs with her everynight for months. All whilst my GCSE's were going on, but i didn't mind becasue she was my bestfriend. 

One day she was in so much pain with her leg where the surgery had taken place beucase she had an abscess, that i had to phone an ambulance. It was quite funny becuase they gave her gas and air for the pain and as the sat her on the stretcher, she put her hands in the air, did the devil horns (\m/) and said 'Rock and Roll'. Hahah it was so funny. She went into hospital and they treated her with blood transfusions and medication. However even this wasn't helpiing her. 

Then the news we were dreading. The nurse took me and my cousins into a side room and told us that they could give her blood tansfusions every other day but this would not cure her pain and only be keeping her alive to live in pain. She told us they had a spare bed in Willow Wood Hospice for my mum and that we had to choose what we wanted to do. Me and my cousins sat in the room for what felt like forever, trying to figure out how we were going to tell my mum she was going to die. We finally agreed that leting her go to Willow Wood woulf be the best option. We went and told my mum and she agreed that that is what she wanted to do. 

The next day she went to Willow Wood and it was like a hotel. I was actually jelous of her staying there haha. The staff made us all feel so welcome and even offered us a room, which we could stay in. My mum was so happy there, the best i had seen her for the past few weeks. She was eating her tea and i was robbing her jelly and ice cream haha. So i decided not to stay that night and i was going to stay the next, biggest regret off my life so far and always will be. However about dinner time the next day we had a phone call and the nurse tols us my mum had deteriorated, me and my cousins raced down to the hospice and my other family members follwed after. I couldn't believe how much she had changed over one night. we stayed there all day, just watching this woman in bed not moving, twitching or anything. The rest of the family came to the hospice and we all sat there telling jokes, talking and laughing. I remember it like it was yesterday. 

I had just finished painting her toe nails in a deep purple colour. i had just sat down when we notice my mum was taking long pauses inbetween her breathing, somtimes for up to 60 seconds. we called the nurse and he said that we had to prepare ourselves for her passing. I didin't know what to do. I just froze. My cousin pushed me over to the bed and i was just saying ' I love you mum. I love you' over and over. Then it happened. 56 years og age. 21st January 2011. I was 16. I had a panic attack, my mum, my rock, my bestfriend, gone. I sat there for about an hour holding her hand, not letting go even when the nurses came in to move her and make her comfertable in the bed.

We all made a joke about how she waited specially until i had pained her nails. I thanked her for that haha. I remember the nurse bringing can of fizzy in to us and cups of teas. I knew i couldnt stay there all my life and that i had to go. So i got my coat and put two cans of fizzy in my pockets hahaha. I knew my mum would have found that funny. Never one to miss a freebe me haha. 

It has been two years since my mum died and there isnt a day that goes by without me thinking about her, or any off my family members. This is something i would not wish on my worst enemy. 

My family have always got through hard times with humour and laughter, after all, laughther is the best medcince. So i hope no one gets offended by the way this was written. But if you do, i don't really care hahah, becuase this is my personal story, that i wouldn't change for the world.  

Im not looking for sympathy, just awareness. The more money we raise together, the fewer people will have to go through an experience like mine. 

Although the big C has made my family stronger it has also killed little parts off out lives. It has taken away people that mean so much to us and hurt and made us feel pain we didn't even know existed. Just like so many other people. 

I am running this race in order to raise more awareness about cancer. Cancer research is a awesome charity that does amazing work. If you have been affected by cancer, then im sure you will know all the work this charity does in order to beat cancer. I raise this money in hope that one day, a cure will be found and that we will beat it once and for all. Cancer has killed enough people. It is time we kill it for good.

P.s Sorry for the essay, once i start i just can't stop haha. 

P.s Also sorry for any spelling mistakes, spelling is not one of my strong points ;) haha 

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