Thank you for taking the time to read my story!

I wish to raise £2016 for the Stroke Association as 2015 turned out to be a particularly crappy year! So i've decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and do something positive for Stroke survivors who aren't as fortunate as I am! 

I'll try not to go into full blown XFactor style sob story here, but if playing the 'stroke card' one more time helps get a few pennies off you, its worth a go! 

In February 2015 I had a phone call from my Mum to say my Grandad was in Hospital after suffering from another stroke. He had a stroke 5 years before which heartbreakingly left him housebound and unable to verbally communicate the same way again. The consultant said it was the largest bleed he had seen in over 30 years and there was nothing they could do. My lovely Grandad died that week, in Hospital, surrounded by his family. 

At the start of April I was sleeping for a night shifts and had woken up to get a drink and feed the cat before going back to bed for a few more hours sleep. I was standing at the sink filling up a glass of water when I felt like I had been hit round the back of the head with a pan! (I think I even turned round to look!) It was the most immense pain I have ever felt!! The room was swaying like I was on the fastest pirate ship and I knew I was going to collapse. Home alone and with my phone on the 3rd floor I had no other option than to lie on the kitchen floor until I felt I would be able to stand up again. 

Enough was enough. I thought I was going to be sick and the pain was just too much. I just wanted to get into bed and sleep it off. I'd suffered from migraines for years and thought this was just the worst one I’d ever had! So I tried to get up off the floor and up the stairs. WHY did I have to have an attic bedroom?! Im laughing now thinking it probably looked like the car scene from Wolf of Wall Street ...but at the time I was in excruciating pain! I eventually made it to my bed...over 2 hours later!

At this point I was still convinced that it was just THE worst migraine, that I was dehydrated, tired and stressed and that id wake up for work in a few hours feeling loads better. My housemate got home later that day and I just remember bursting into tears, i'd never felt so ill. I honestly thought I was going to die!

A few paracetamol later the pain wasn't as bad so decided to DRIVE to work. I’d left it too late to call in sick. After all I was just having a migraine....

That night shift I was useless, I couldn't put my finger on why I felt so ill! I sat nursing my head most of the evening before getting sent home. I remember my colleague suggested maybe I had an inner ear infection  as I was walking all over the place. 

SOOO the following Sunday morning I was back at work and doing my medication round at approx 8am when I dropped a bottle of water out of my left hand. I tried to pick it up off the floor and couldn't. My hand was spasming and I burst into tears. WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO ME?!  A 23 year old girl trapped in a 93 year olds body.

After some persuasion from my work colleagues (I can't thank you all enough!) I walked over to A&E. This time I had self diagnosed myself with a trapped nerve in my neck haha! The Doctor did a number of tests on me and then sent me to get an MRI scan. I waited for the rest of the day in the waiting room for the results.

I can still picture the Doctor saying "You've had two strokes”. I couldn't believe it - I asked to see the scans on the computer screen haha! Surely I was too young to have a stroke?! I felt totally numb. I was admitted to the ward there and then.

The following 8 days were full of tests, scans and more tests - I was the worlds worst patient! I think I cried the whole time and took a lot out on my Mum, who only left my bedside to sleep! The mix of emotions was hard to keep up with!

Fortunately, because of where the clots are in my brain I haven't had any long term physical issues. My left hand got stronger after a bit of OT and although I wouldn't trust it to hold a cup of tea it doesn't stop me from doing anything I did before. My balance and coordination were affected the most, but i've always been clumsy! (But annoyingly the medication I am now on makes me bruise like a peach!) My eye sight was altered too but nothing a pair of glasses couldn't sort.

The biggest hit of the strokes was how it affected me emotionally. Something I can't even comprehend now, 11 months on. I was 23 years old, fit and healthy. I'd just booked a one way ticket to travel the world with my friend, Fran. This wasn't in my plan. 

So after nearly a year of feeling sorry for myself I am starting to get my life back on track and feel so fortunate to be here! Although its constantly in the back of my mind that it might just be a waiting game for the next stroke.

Over the next 12 months I wish to raise money for stroke survivors and their families because the Stroke Association has been such a huge support for me and my family. I might get laughed at for reading the Stroke Association magazine but I love hearing other peoples stories and it puts mine into perspective! 

I plan to take part in a number of different fundraising events and will keep this page updated as to what I am up to! I also hope to volunteer with the Stroke Association so I can see exactly how the money raised is helping individuals! So please donate if you can! 

Thank you so much for not falling asleep!

Han xxxx

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