We know 2020 has been an awful year for everybody, but ours truly brought the unthinkable. As a lot of people close to us or our mum will already know, she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2013 and underwent extensive treatment, to then be given the all clear. In May of this year, following months of unexplained back pain, we received the devastating news that the cancer had returned – but this time had metastasised throughout mum’s bones, causing fractures in her spine and neck, and various tumours. We were told the news no one ever wants to hear – the cancer is treatable, but not curable and we are facing only a few short years with our amazing mum, Julie.

Treatment was scheduled to start quickly as an outpatient, however, we never quite got to this point. 3 weeks post diagnosis, following a call with a Macmillan nurse who didn’t like the sound of mum’s symptoms, she was sent to Arrowe Park Hospital by ambulance for a scan (on a Friday night of a Bank Holiday weekend, in the middle of a global pandemic no less – she really doesn’t do things by halves!).

This was the start of a totally unexpected 4 months as an inpatient, touring nearly every hospital in Merseyside and eventually, Wirral Hospice St John’s. When mum was in hospital, due to COVID-19, there was no visiting allowed – this meant that only 3 short weeks after a completely shock diagnosis, we were unable to see our mum for 6 weeks – unable to hold her hand through treatments, give a reassuring hug or cry together. Communication was difficult and our mum had to face tough conversations alone – or with us just at the end of the phone which was heart-breaking for all three of us. Throughout mum’s time in hospital we were dealt so many blows as scans and tests revealed the extent of what was happening – throw in a completely unexpected major surgery to insert a titanium rod into her femur and we had pretty much faced all of our biggest fears – and all with the worry of one of us contracting COVID-19 looming in the background. All of this happened throughout the height of lockdown meaning Rachel and I couldn’t even spend time together to be there for each other or try and work through what was happening. There were ongoing concerns over quality of life at home, whether mum would ever walk again and the impact this could all have on her independence.

Again, never doing anything by halves, our mum was an inpatient at Clatterbridge Cancer Centre when they were due to be moving from their Wirral site, to their swanky new building in Liverpool City Centre. Thankfully, mum was able to get a bed at Wirral Hospice St John’s to avoid the upheaval of the move – with the added bonus that they were allowing visitors so we could finally visit our mum and be together.

The aim of mum’s stay at Wirral Hospice St John’s was rehab and physio – recovery from her surgery, work on mobility and hopefully regain some independence that had been so cruelly taken away.

Every single volunteer and member of staff who looked after our mum was absolutely second to none. We felt safe in the knowledge that our mum was being so well cared for – even having meals made on request! Everyone showed such kindness and compassion. It’s no surprise to those who know her that our mum makes friends wherever she goes, but to know she was building relationships and was so comfortable with the hospice staff made all the difference to us. For us to visit and find her laughing at in-jokes with members of staff isn’t what you expect when you think ‘hospice’. The people make it so special.

Those of you that know our mum know she is a fiercely strong, independent and determined woman – she truly is our role model. We are so proud of her and how she has faced everything she has been dealt and even on the low days, found the motivation to keep pushing forward. Our mum was an inpatient at the hospice for 75 days, so we will be paddleboarding 1 mile for every day of care she received – 75 miles throughout the month of October, which will take us roughly 35 hours to complete. It will be tough going mentally and physically, in probably pretty miserable weather conditions, but compared to what our mum has been through for the last 5 months, it’ll be a walk in the park.

Thanks to the amazing care received at Wirral Hospice St John’s, our mum is now home and has support to live independently, albeit with
limited mobility. Whilst this may look very different to her life before all of this, it is so far from what we were afraid of only a few months ago – there were times we all feared mum would never make it home. Treatment will continue and we will be embracing the time we have together.

2020 has tested everyone’s resilience but if the last 5 months has taught us anything it’s that we’re all stronger than we think and can get through anything taking it day by day. Don’t get lost in future plans and worries, appreciate the here and now and the people you love, because you never know what you might miss while you’re worrying about the future.

Thank you for supporting us in our tiny way of thanking the hospice for their incredible care looking after our mum.