Thank you for visiting my JustGiving Page.  SANDS was a lifeline to me during the hardest time of my life. 

Our first child was stillborn.  During late pregnancy our baby’s movements reduced.  A scan showed the baby was smaller than expected.  I was admitted to the Maternity Ward in Milton Keynes hospital for monitoring and injected with steroids to strengthen the baby's lungs in case it needed to be delivered.  The next day we were sent to Kings College Hospital in London for a more detailed scan by Professor Kypros Nicolaides who said our baby only had 20% chance of survival if delivered now.  He advised leaving the baby where it was to give the best chance of survival and monitor closely. 

During checks the next morning there was difficulty trying to detect the baby's heartbeat.  A scan revealed our baby had died. 

They wanted me to deliver our baby naturally.  I was taken to the Labour Ward and induced.  We waited for things to progress while listening to other mothers in labour delivering live babies.  The Midwives were wonderful.  They asked if we wanted to see our baby when it was delivered, not knowing what to expect we said no.  

At 7:43am on Friday 24th January 1998 our baby boy was delivered in silence.  They took him away to weigh and bathe him.  We decided we did want to meet him.  He was absolutely beautiful.  We gave him the name we had decided on if we had a boy, Caine.  I did not want to let him go.

I became seriously Ill after the delivery with pre-eclampsia which usually presents in the mother before the baby.  In very rare cases it can affect the baby before the mother, which is what happened to Caine.  We left hospital a few days later with two polaroid photos and a card with his handprints and footprints.  We were also given some leaflets of the different support services available to us and encouraged to use them.

In the days that followed we registered Caine’s Stillbirth and planned his Funeral.  Needing to speak to someone about what we were going through I called SANDS and spoke with a lovely lady Jan who was so understanding.  Jan encouraged me to go along to one of her support groups to meet other parents who too had sadly lost their babies.  It was at this first meeting I met a very special friend.  Judi lost her son James who lived for only 14 hours the day after Caine was stillborn.  We were both so raw in our grief.  We arranged to meet the next week and spent hours in a Little Chef talking and crying over pots of tea.  

Judi and I have remained close friends and are doing this challenge together in memory of our boys in the year of their 25th anniversary.  

They say things happen for a reason and for whatever reason our first child was not meant for this world.   Gav and I have been blessed with three amazing children who complete our family.  If we had not lost Caine we may never have got to meet Courtney, Charlie and Caitlin.  It is a privilege to be their parents and we are so proud and grateful.  There will always be someone missing in our lives but Caine continues to live on in our hearts and we will always be his Mum and Dad. 

Please help me to raise funds for this wonderful charity so they can continue to support other parents who are grieving the death of their baby.

On the SANDS Snowdon by Night Hike Judi and I will be

- Trekking for approx 8 hours continuously.

- Covering 21km of undulating terrain, with the added challenge of walking through the night!

- Ascending a total of approx 975m in a single night.

- Trekking as part of a team, supporting each and every team member to get through the challenge

Donating through JustGiving is simple, fast and totally secure. Your details are safe with JustGiving - they'll never sell them on or send unwanted emails. Once you donate, they'll send your money directly to the charity. So it's the most efficient way to donate - saving time and cutting costs for the charity.