I am fundraising money for CALM, leading a movement against male suicide.

In August 2021 my beautiful, loving, intelligent, funny, smart and exceptionally physically fit Ironman friend of 30 years (we met at university,) and my partner of 2.5 years, tragically and so very shockingly took his own life. 

I knew Mark was struggling but he was already getting help and was consciously aware that he needed more. Not just 3 weeks before his death my profile picture on here was taken. We were happy and so very much in love - but there in lies the rub, mental health can cast an exceptionally dark shadow over you when you least expect it, but it is always lurking in the background  - and all those dark thoughts are always so much easier to believe than the positive and uplifting ones, and in a weak moment they consume you. 

Marks actions were a very permanent solution to a temporary problem and he really truly had no idea how much he was loved by me, my children, my family, his own children, his own family and his friends. He made such an impact on everyone he met. He was funny, witty, rude, cheeky, naughty, mathematically gifted and had an infectious laugh that everyone is recalling. I am very much aware that when we lose someone they become a hero with no faults; Mark, as we all do, had faults,  but I want to remember that to me and my children he was kind, caring, loving, warm, protective, generous, supportive of everything I did and every decision I made, always entrepreneurial and funny! So so funny, we laughed and laughed so hard it hurt at times, we cried and cried with laughter. We talked of and made many plans for a long and happy future together.

As well as being a well seasoned Ironman (4 times over, and at least 6 half Ironman events completed,) he was All World Athlete status of gold which meant he was in the top 1% in the world for his age group. Mark was also a guide for a blind triathlete (whom I happened to teach,) and he last raced with Nat in South Wales in May of 2021, picture in gallery. He had done many charitable activities over his lifetime and raised an awful lot of money in doing so. He was great fun and we’ll miss playing twister with you, and the Great Dalmuti. My daughter will also miss rinsing you for getting smashed from one glass of Pimms or one Aperol Spritz! - Mark wasn’t a big drinker - interfered too much with his rigorous training schedule.

Whether you met Mark or not, surely you must know someone or of someone who has struggled with mental health, and I believe this to be an increasing issue in men particularly, suicide is the biggest killer of men under the age of 40 - do they find it harder to open up, express their vulnerability?  Perhaps they do, so please please please dig deep and let’s help those struggling with their mental health. 

In the words of Elton ‘I’ve been down the darkest alleys, been to the bottom, where the angels cry….’ - and let me tell you, it’s hell! BUT, I have l seen the devastation left behind when someone does this - however, it is absolutely NOT a selfish act but a brave one in my opinion! You could argue it is selfish for everyone to expect them to stay in a world when they are in so much pain! And they are in pain, immense pain. I get it..

I’ll live with the immense pain and the deep loss, loneliness and sadness every day until my last. I’ve never known a pain like it….. and I hope you never experience it …..to those of you who have, I’m so very sorry for your loss.

Sleep and rest well my beautiful man..….until we meet again, I’ll be talking to the moon…. I hope you’re at peace now.

I plan to do a triathlon in his name -   a half Ironman in June -  a race Mark himself was supposed to be doing. For clarity, a half Ironman is a 70.3 mile race - 1.2 mile swim, followed by a 56 mile bike, then a half marathon (13.1 miles.) Now I don’t swim well at all and I don’t do road cycling so this is a HUGE challenge for me - but I’m praying Mark will be with me every step of the way, and I know in my heart he’d be sooooo very proud of me for doing it, and I’ve just invested my first triathlon suit…..😬  -  Please support me…..and please take the time to scroll through happier times, some very recent,  in the attached photo gallery…..