"Pain is temporary. It subsides eventually. If I quit however, it lasts forever"

At the venerable age of 42 you would imagine I would know better than to undertake such a foolhardy mission as running a marathon. But no,  I clearly want to bring on the arthiritic seizing up of my joints even more prematurely.

On Nov 2nd, I will be attempting to hobble my away around New York, with twenty thousand or so of my closest friends. Before hand I will be spending three long hard months trying to acquire some level of fitness.

Knowing that you have sponsored me will help me increase my current PB distance (home - pub - fish and chip shop - home).

Thank You.

Update on 20th August 2008:

A BIG thank you to all who have already sponsored me. You either have great confidence in my abilities, or you want to put me through a guilt trip every time I feel like having a break day from running. Either way it works, so thank you.

I have reached the stage where I am running for an hour's duration several times a week, and am now pushing 90 mins for the big run on Sunday. And let me tell you, my nipples know all about it ! In the past I have reached for the band aid, and indeed my son is wondering where all his Bob-the-Builder plasters are every time he falls off his bike and scrapes his knees. The trouble with random plasters though, was the after affects once I had plucked up enough courage (or strength, post run) to remove them. I was left looking like I had gone to the local parlour for a Back, Sack and Crack and my cheque had bounced part way through the proceedure and had been consequently been hurled back out onto the street.

However these days, technology has moved on. I have purchased a packet of Nip Guards from runners world, and boy are they good. With a foam annulus to gently adhere to the minimum amount of skin, and also creating a raised platform for the protection plate of the afore mentioned nipple, it is a positive to delight to wear them. Indeed some members of my team have asked to borrow them, and I didn't even know that they were into long distance running! But I also need to grumble: certain members of the wider group are not entering into the spirit of the whole event, and actually refused to help me attach them. Spoilsports !

So no more white T-Shirts with two trickle lines of blood running down the front for me !

As we enter the Autumn there will be many more runs in the rain and the gloom, and clearly Nov 2nd in Manhattan isn't going to be a thong and bikini day! (well, not outside of the hotel bedroom anyway!) It is for this reason I am appealing to you for a new wave of sponsorships to help bribe, bully and inspire me to continue my training. I understand that it was pay day amongst the professional staff yesterday ( I just work for the prestige of being in Odon's team), so I am hoping this plea is timely.

Thank you all for your continued support

 

Update on 26th September 2008:

Hello all Sponsors, and potential ones!

5 weeks to go and oh boy, does that scare me! I feel like at my current rate of preparation and training, I am on course for the London Marathon, April 2009, but running 26.2 miles next month!
Well, at least I have knocked out a 2 hour run already, although the reward for that was a ripped calf muscle and a visit to the physio. Now just before I continue, don't be thinking here comes a load of excuses for his wimping out. No! Despite missing nearly 2 weeks of training, I will be soldiering on.

The physio treatment was great, it consisted of 3 approaches: deep tissue massage, ultra-sound and acupuncture. I don't know if any of you are familiar with physios, but this is my take on their practices. The ultra-sound is used on Monday mornings, when they are in a lazy or down-beat mood and they can't be bothered to do any real physioing. They slap a bit of gel on your leg, and then rub this nodule around the muscle, absent-mindedly with one hand, whilst with the other they can get on to far more important activities like texting on their mobile, or checking e-mails on their blackberry. The acupuncture is also a little questionable. Am I alone in immediately thinking of voodoo dolls ? And is the 'real treatment' just the transferring of my recognition of pain from my injured muscle and to the various vulnerable and unsuspecting parts of my calf which are about to be intravenously assaulted ? Finally the physios occasionally gets around to doing some real work with the deep tissue massage, and stick their fingers and thumbs, and sometimes their elbows,  into the affected muscle. This is clearly the most beneficial treatment and the reason that they are getting paid. The only trouble was, as the massaging came to an end, I couldn't stop myself from asking whether there were any extras !! Old habits die hard I suppose. It was even more embarrassing as the physio was a big burly Australian bloke!

Moving on to technical equipment,  you'll will remember how excited I was about discovering the nip guards the other week, hence eradicating the bleeding nipple problems. But things are never easy in the world of marathon training. I was finding that as the runs became longer, I would end up, in a manner of speaking, with chapped buttocks. I guess it is inevitable really when you do the maths and work out how many times they brush backwards and forwards in opposing directions during a 2 hour run, let alone a 4 hour plus one !! Anyway, eventually my youngest banned me from using her Sudicream and I thought it was time I should attack the cause of the problem and not the symptoms. Fortunately the running shop came to the rescue again, and I purchased a stick of 'Running Glide'. This is a tremendous wax like substance which you apply before hand to the various parts of your body which are going to be in close contact with other parts of your body over the next several hours. It even comes complete with pictures on the wrapping with helpful arrows pointing towards angry red areas on the silhouette of a runner. however, I would not recommend applying it while you are in a communal changing room, like the gym downstairs for example. Clearly the sight of me with my Lycra shorts around my knees and rubbing the stick up and down various parts of my groin was a little too much for some of the alpha-males in the changing room to take, and just possibly, with hindsight (no pun intended), open to misinterpretation. Still the stuff works really well. Again, certain members of my team have asked to borrow some, and I am still unaware that they are into long distance running. And again, nobody has stepped forward to help me apply it!

So once more I hold the cap out for more sponsorship, which I appreciate in these credit-crunched and ravaged times is a big ask.

And again a very BIG THANK YOU to all who have sponsored me already.

Mark '118' Boardy

Update on 17th October 2008:

While I sit here feeling thoroughly bloated on the greasy fish & chips I have just consumed, but at least feeling grateful for the fact that they will help soak up the 5 pints of Bombardier that Lloydy forcefully made me drink last night, I thought it would be a good time to update you on my marathon training progress.

Only two weeks and 2 days to go! I have had a further set back, my right calf this time. Again the physio turned to acupuncture. However due to the proximity of the big day, he decided to 'treat' rather more trigger points of pain than he would normally do so in one go, and rather earlier in the course of treatment than the gentle approach I received before on the left calf muscle. Anyway, judging by the consequences of his prolific activity with the needles, I think I will also be competing in a pole vault competition, except I will be clearing the bar without the use of a pole or a run-up, judging by the height I leapt off the treatment couch!

Just to reinforce how close I am to the big day, I have been receiving my official documentation through the post and the details of my start time and of the logistics of getting 40,000 of us to Staten Island for the start. I have been informed that I been scheduled to get on a bus at the Public Library, 42nd Street, at 4am on Sunday morning.  04:00 hours! And of course to make sure that the bus can leave by 4 am, I actually need to be there to get on the bus at 03:45. it means I will need to wake up by about 3 am; a whole 6 and a half hours before the race starts !!  Then I will be transported to the start village and dumped off there by about 5 am. I then have 4 and a half hours of standing around in the early winter weather, getting cold, getting bored and wearing my legs out. Not exactly textbook preparation for running 26.2 miles. I think our cousins from across the pond are having a little giggle at our expense, and giving our UK sports package company some special treatment, as one of my friends from New York has been scheduled for the 08:00 am Staten Island Ferry.

I asked my marathon coordinator whether there would be any facilities for us there, for our 5 and a half hour visit, and whether there would be cover, somewhere to take the weight off our feet, any refreshments, etc. she cheerily replied, "Oh I'm sure there will be ... I assume ...I mean I haven't actually been there before and haven't asked" !!! However, she did give me a top tip - take a bin liner!

Finally, no update would be complete without informing you of my latest purchase on the technical front. Having progressed through Nip Guards, Body Glide (anti-chaffing) and now energy bars and energy gel, I stumbled upon the most important piece of equipment. What you might call the 'Jewel in the crown' -  in a manner of speaking. With parts of my body bobbing up and down for the duration of a 2 and a half hour run, I discovered it was far more comfortable to use an 'equipment carrier'. If you are not totally sure what I am referring about, think of this. If I was starring in the film Grease, I would NOT have been in John Travolta's gang (at least not until that short period at the very end when he swaps gangs to increase his chances of getting his leg over with Sandy). No shame in owning one, especially not when you are in the 'blokes' changing room. But given the fact that we have all been advised to take our running kit in our hand luggage when we fly, there could be an amusing and embarrassing scene coming scene to a customs desk at an airport near you !

Thank you all again for your continued help, donations and support.

Mark - "it's not a sprint, it's a marathon" Boardy

Update on 30th October 2008:

Well here I am, nervous, feeling hopelessly under-prepared, my right foot strapped up to relieve the pain of my plantar faciitus, my suitcase full of knee supports, calf 'socks' and tubes of Deep Heat.   
But I'm ready!

My expected time for the 'race' has increased from a rather optimistic 3.5 hours to Sunday.

The training has been mostly fun and varied, and taken me to two specialist training camps. The first was for some high altitude training (coastal path runs in Salcombe in Devon). The second was a nutritional work camp (I spent a week eating pasta on the Amalfi coast - and actually doing very little else!). I have seen the physio more times than my wife over the last 3 months and have been on the receiving end of more needles than Amy Winehouse and have also been physically man-handled more times than would have been possible at a children's Xmas party with Gary Glitter hosting a game of Blind man's bluff.

I have received tremendous support from my work colleagues who themselves are partaking in their own endurance sports - listening to my running stories for hours on end without their eyes glazing over.

I am still annoyed about the treatment that our cousins have handed out, my British Sports Tours pick up time for the race day is 04:00, so my wake up time will be 03:00, a mere 7 1/2 hours before I start running. And I have been given the tip-top advice that to help pass the time away of the 5 1/2 hours I shall be standing around, exposed to the elements on Staten Island, I should take along a bin-bag.

Oh -  and just to answer the sponsor who thinks I'm having a jolly weekend in NY at his expense, due to my ridiculously early start on Sunday, I will be basically be leaving my body clock on London time so I will be very surprised if I see the outside of my hotel room after 5pm on Friday or Saturday night. I will NOT be drinking any alcohol, and I can try any of New York's finest restaurants and eat anything I like from the menu - as long as it's pasta. Yes, that is pasta, full stop. No fancy foreign garnishes for me like meat or sauce. Additionally I have to keep off my legs for the whole of Saturday, so that kind of limits any thoughts of shopping or sightseeing. But it will be a really fun weekend!

However I am really looking forward to Sunday and have been told the race itself will be a memorable occasion with so many spectators lining the streets and bands and street parties going on. I have been given a Top-Tip that when I run across Brooklyn Bridge I should not run across the lower level. This is because the wind tends to catch the contributions from all the runners who will be taking a leak from the upper level of the bridge! On that subject I hear that Paula Radcliffe is running too, and given that she might have just edged ahead of me, I shall have to be careful of where I'm stepping!

Thank You to all who have sponsored me already, you are very kind and generous and it has really helped me. For those curmudgeonly ones that have stated only to pay after/if I complete the event, it is time to start crow-baring your wallets open!

If you need to know how your charity investment is doing, my race number is 44653, and there is a link  http://fanalert.ingnycmarathon.org/Alerts.aspx which will reveal if I have been catching yellow cabs along the way.

Thank You

Mark knees-knocking Boardman

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