Family & friends,

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t lose my patience with Brian because his behaviour can be impossible to manage. The lack of sleep is crippling, and his never-ending, ridiculous demands test my sanity: “Shave me!” (when I’ve just shaved him) “Make tea!” (at 3am) “I’m getting undressed!” (just as a visitor arrives)! He doesn’t understand the lockdowns and restrictions, the masks and the rules...they feed his paranoia and send his anxiety through the roof. At times, I am scared by his temper; at times, I could throttle him because I am so tired, but he won’t let me rest… His hand shakes violently when he tries to lift a cup or spoon to his lips, and I worry myself silly because he won’t eat any decent food. I spend hours and hours on the phone (usually on
hold) to doctors, social services and care agencies. I shower him, clean his teeth and help him on and off the loo (seeing to the bits that need to be dealt with in between). I rub in creams, I massage his legs, I cut his hair. I pick him up when he falls, and I reassure him at 2am when he wakes with a start and is scared… Sometimes, he smiles at me but it’s getting less and less frequent. He used to spin me around the dance floor; now he rarely shuffles his feet whilst I hold his hand as the music plays… Every day he slips further and further away - it’s so hard. It’s so unbelievably hard. Brian spent his life building a career, a family and friendships to be proud of, but he has no notion of any of it; dementia has robbed him of his memories, his pride, his comfort and hope.

Brian’s dignity has been stripped from him, and (for many years) my life has been led in the shadow of his dementia, which can be a dark, cold, frightening and lonely place to find yourself. The only way to reach the light and find comfort is to fund research into what causes dementia, fund care/support initiatives and fund the development of treatments. I’m walking with my family in search of light at the end of the tunnel. If you can, please help me to make a difference to the thousands who live with dementia; let’s fight in Brian's name and make a meaningful change. 

Thank you,

June.