HELP!!

I've been jailed and need to raise £1,000 in the next 24 hours to secure bail. Please dig deep into your pockets to help secure my release.

My guards will also accept bribes so that I can receive visitors so please come by to check that I’m ok and have enough food and water……

Remember, the money raised will go directly to support MacMillans, and an additional 28% is reclaimed on every eligible donation by a UK taxpayer, too.