Thanks for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page.

The last few years my husband and I had suffered two very difficult loses in our family.

My grandad John Carr (14th Sept 2010) and Bernie Barrows (13th June 2013) who both died of the terrible disease which is cancer. 

My grandad had only just retired when he found out he was ill and it didn't take very long before he passed away. he started with Bowel cancer then eventually went into his brain. Before he retired he spent all his working life abroad to provide for his family and grand children. All the time that he was ill he always kept positive and I never really knew the extent of the illness and what would really happen in the end. I went to visit him on the 11th sept to see how he was and all he was doing was sleeping and couldnt focus on anyone, on the 14th i recieved a phone call from my mother saying "i think it would be a good idea if you come and see grandad today" i declined the offer for her to pick me up as i felt like i already said goodbye. it was only an hour and half later my mother rang me again and told me my grandad has passed away. if i accepted the offer my mum wouldnt have been there at the final stages of her dads life and would of missed saying goodbye. i feel so bad by not wanting to see him again but i also feel happy that my mother didnt miss it.

It was heart breaking to see him the way he was and never wanted to see that again.

but then...

 my father in law came to see myself, my husband and sister in law in October 2011. As soon as he walked through the door I knew straight away something wasn't quite right and then he informed us that he has 2 brain tumours and he was going to start chemotherapy and radiotherapy to destroy. He was a very positive man and they're was no doubts in our minds that he would get better. Every time we saw him or even spoke to him on the phone, he was always optimistic and never told real how serious it was But to be honest I think we were all in denial about it.

In April we recieved phone call from his very close friend explaining how serious it was, so we rushed straight up to see him. We sat by his beside for 11 days before he passed away. He wasn't able to speak or drink any fluids which was awful to see, but I wouldn't have wanted to be any where else except for making his last few days comfotable and giving his children memories they will cherish forever, as he managed to say how proud he was and that he loved  them.

for both my Grandad and Bernie there's memories are never going to go away and if I can even raise £20 to Macmillian then at least it can go to a worthy cause that deserves every single penny.