The earliest song I can remember committing to memory is called Sonny, by New Found Glory. My brother used to play it through the house when it was released in 2002, and for years after that. The song was lost to me for a while when Alex moved away to university, but when he returned home a while after, it came back with him.

It’s surreal, in a way, that the lyrics of Sonny are about the death of a family member. One line, “An empty chair at all the tables,” has always stuck out. 

Next Saturday (Dec 5) marks the day that I become as old as Alex ever was. We lost him to brain cancer just over a month before his 24th birthday. That empty chair is a hole in my family’s chest, and it’s especially apparent this week.  Alex was an incredible person, an awesome brother, and an irreplaceable friend.

It was hard to keep smiling during the couple of years that Alex battled cancer, and harder still in the years following that 3:50pm, but it would have been impossible if not for the support of family, friends, teachers, doctors, and, of course, charities.

While several charities were there to support him, the Teenage Cancer Trust became most important to us. Alex spent a lot of time in the hospital, and the Trust and its staff were largely responsible for the environment he was in when there.

On Saturday I will be doing Brave the Shave to fundraise for the Teenage Cancer Trust. There isn’t much I can do alone to practically help the charity, but a lot of small contributions can make a difference — and ensure that any other young person who finds themselves in Alex’s situation will have the support they need. 

I appreciate that donating is not always easy even during the best of times. It’s completely okay if you can’t spare a pound — but please do spare a thought for the young people you know who’ve been affected by cancer, directly or otherwise. 

It’s hard to choose a single message to push out to the world, but I would say

When something really shit happens, it’s hard to see how life could be good again. There will be tough times and long days — to steal from New Found Glory once more — and whilst things might not be much “better” in a week or a month or a year, you can certainly expect them to be “less shit”. Take your time, be patient with yourself, put one foot in front of the other, and you’ll get to where you need to be.

Love you mate. 

(Happy for you to share if you think it’s appropriate).