Hi everyone,

Thank you for visiting my page! 

I am doing this for my mum, and I appreciate you reading this.

I have always wanted to trek up Kilimanjaro and I tend to throw myself headfirst into sports and activities thanks to my mum - she taught me how to ride a bike, ice skate, rollerblade....you name it, we did it. She also was the strongest, most determined person I knew, some would say stubborn and she never ever let anything beat her. 

In 2006, after suffering from what was initially mis-diagnosed as an essential tremor she was confirmed as having Parkinson's Disease. We were told it was a progressive illness and that the main symptom tended to be slowness of movement and a tremor. I was 15 at the time and didn't really understand what it meant or what the impact would be, I was at the age when you think your parents are invincible. 

Initially nothing changed, she had a shake in her right arm but over a few years, this morphed into rigidity and stiffness down her whole right side but even this was intermittent depending on when she took her medication. I distinctly remember her timing taking her pills so that we could run down the road and do a Pilates or Yoga class together - and yes, she could run better than she could walk (go figure!)

Fast forward a few more years, and she developed complete paralysis intermittently on the right hand side of her body. Even at this stage, she refused to give up and when she couldn't move she was planning what she was going to do when she could! When her medication was working she pushed herself to do anything that she could manage, I have some memories of her being so excited that she could move, we would start jumping and dancing around the living room together to 'It's My Life' by Bon Jovi (her favourite).

In the final years of her life, at the stage when she was experiencing advanced Parkinson's disease, the symptoms were particularly aggressive - she experienced extreme and sudden weight loss, complete paralysis 80% of the day and the other 20% she experienced 'dyskinesia' which involves involuntary movements, squirming of the muscles and juddering...and that was just the motor symptoms. At this stage she also had hallucinations, night sweats and cognitive slowness, to the point where she couldn't remember anything. Although that sounds pretty bleak, she managed to spend the entirety of her illness at home being cared for by her only carer - my dad.

The week before she passed away in hospital in June 2021, there was a small window when her medication was working and in that moment, she decided the one thing she wanted to do was a 20 minute 'P.E with Joe' exercise class on YouTube, I still have the recording and I will cherish it forever to show the power of what you can do if you really put your mind to it. 

I will always remember my mum as someone who was incredibly kind, warm, loving, fun and so physically fit and active. I decided that when she passed away I would set myself this challenge of climbing Kilimanjaro in her honour, as a testament to the strength of character  that she had to fight her illness. She never gave up and exuded positivity even on her darkest of days, her spirit and exuberance for life will stay with me forever and that is what will propel me up that mountain, come rain or shine!

In loving memory of Amanda Hawkes.