It's a bit of a long story!!  So, are you sitting comfortably?  Right then, I'll begin ...

I was diagnosed with cervical cancer in January 2019 and had a combo of weekly chemotherapy and daily radiotherapy for 6 weeks, which finished in April 2019.  I had an MRI scan in July 2019 and got the ALL CLEAR!! Yippee!! :-) :-) 

I have been having 3 monthly oncology follow-up appointments since then and I will be honest and say it hasn't been easy, lots of side effects to contend with and a general feeling of fatigue.  Added to which, with a weakened immune system, since September 2019 I've had three chest infections and then shingles too!! 

I had a 3 month follow up on 17th January and asked if I could have an MRI scan to double check what was going on as the side effects in my bladder and bowels were showing no signs of abating.  From this, I had an MRI on 2nd March.  By this stage, I had also been diagnosed with cellulitis, as my pubic area and left leg had become swollen.

I was then called in to see my oncologist on 20th March at Sussex Cancer Care Centre to find out the results.  

My world stopped spinning momentarily when I heard the dreaded words:

"I'm really sorry, the cancer has returned and this time it's unlikely to go away, we can only offer palliative treatment"

My friend Lou was sitting next to me and I dared not look at her, instead, we squeezed each other's hands until they went numb.  I didn't want to cry as I needed to ask questions and find out the information I needed to be able to cope with the totally unwanted news I had just received.   

The next step was to go for a CT scan to find out about the cancer tumour and to be able to then look at the options for palliative treatment.  

At this stage, surprisingly, covid 19 played a role in helping me to get a CT scan appointment very quickly as a lot of the scans had been cancelled due to the situation.  I had the scan on 24th March and was then given an appointment to discuss the results on 3rd April.

The 3rd April arrived and the appointment was a telephone appointment, due to the covid 19 lockdown.  My friend, Lou works in the same area as the oncologist so she was able to sit next to her at the hospital on speaker phone and I was at home with my housemate Linda on speaker phone too!  

Again those dreaded words:

"I'm really sorry but the cancer has spread, the CT scan shows that your pelvic lymph nodes and lower back are also affected"

Thank goodness my friends were there to help me deal with the latest unwelcome news.  We then went on to discuss possible palliative treatments that might be available.  It also turns out that I don't have cellulitis, I have lymphedema due to the lymph nodes being affected by the cancer.  

There are potentially three different chemotherapy drugs that I could have in the hope that they will either stop the cancer growing or, best case scenario, even shrink it a bit.  These would be given every three weeks at the hospital, for as long as my body is strong enough to cope with them.

The first one, carboplatin is the most gentle but the most important; a second one, paclitaxel is more toxic and will completely destroy my already weakened immune system and cause hair loss too; a third one, avastin is designed to disrupt the blood supply to the tumour to stop it growing.  

We decided that for the first treatment, I'd just have one chemo drug, the carboplatin and this would give a good indication of how I could cope with chemo and would be the safest option to start with.  In this current situation, we have to be mindful of covid 19 and how that effects decisions on the course of treatment.  

I asked about statistics for survival rates in my situation, the average survival rate is between 12 - 18 months ... obviously I am aiming to smash that ... you can't get rid of me that easily!! 

I had my first chemo on 16th April.  On arrival at the chemotherapy suite (a place that I'd hoped that I would never have to re-visit); with no friends to support me due to covid 19 and the nurses in full PPE, I had a total meltdown!  

A good cry and a cuppa did me good though and helped me to find the strength to begin my next chemo journey.  

My second chemo appointment is on 7th May and we (my oncologist and I) have decided that this time we will add in the second chemo drug too.  This is the one that is more toxic and will make me lose my hair, but hopefully it will be more toxic to the cancer too!

I have decided that I would like to choose when I lose my hair and so, I'm doing Brave the Shave for Macmillan!  

All the way through my cancer journey, Macmillan have been and continue to be fantastic.  I have been supported by some awesome Macmillan nurses; the website is full of information; there is a phone helpline always available and the Macmillan Horizon Centre, which is over the road from the Sussex Cancer Care Centre is a wonderful 'safe' place for all people affected by cancer.  

I know that times are financially tough right now, but if you can spare anything so that we can raise as much money as possible for Macmillan, that would be SO brilliant!  

I am Braving the Shave on Wednesday 6th May 2020, please support me!! 

Thanks very much!

Liz xxx