Lewis had everything to live for. A loving wife, children and family. A beautiful house and newly built (at great effort) annex. The beach down the road and a kayak in the garden. Brilliant friends who loved him. A business which could have been a great success. 

He was increasingly so low he couldn't make it off the sofa. We couldn't get him up and out and we couldn't seem to make him happy most of the time. It was really bad. 

We celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary with a weekend in London 13-15 September. He was in a good place and we loved each other's company. When we got home we had a beautiful swim in the sea and a beer on the beach. The next weekend he had a bad mood, he was angry and he had a bad few days. We couldn't face him that week. 

He took his own life on Wednesday 25 September. 

I can't describe the pain and devastation we are living through. I can't imagine what he was thinking and how he thought his death could be a better outcome than his life for anyone he loved, or for himself. His friends, family and especially his four children have to live with this every day for the rest of their lives.

I am choosing Mind instead of flowers at his funeral. This is in the hope that the work of this charity can help other people who feel like Lewis, and protect their families from being heartbroken with loss.

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