Welcome to my bio page. My name is Laurie. I’m bi-polar, with a personality disorder and a touch of OCD. My other personality is Elizabeth, the voice inside my head. 2014 has been a hellish year and that is why I am so determined to make a change in 2015.

2013 ended with the first Christmas without my grandparents as my grandfather passed away in November, and it all went downhill from there. I met a man who I thought I could make a difference to, and instead he beat me, broke me and left me financially shattered, my child was a witness but still the courts found him not guilty of assault, calling it justified as self-defense as I had tried to save[lf1]  the relationship. This is where my downward spiral started.

This summer, in August, I broke my shoulder in a cycling accident. I was prescribed oromorph, liquid morphine, for the pain. The day I got the verdict of not guilty was the day I first considered taking my life. I took a large dose but not enough to kill. This has been weighing on my mind ever since as the things he did to me were so horrific and left me scarred in more than just physical ways. After having to talk and rehash all this to my therapist it made me think do I really need to be here, the guilt I felt letting that monster into our lives and hurting my child, was this all my fault. The whole time I had Elizabeth telling me yes, death is the only option. So I came home and the following morning I took an overdose.

The act of swallowing all those pills made me realize I shouldn’t have listened to Elizabeth and I knew then I needed help. 3 trips in acute psychiatric units within the space of just a couple of months, and a whole load of pills later I finally feel stable.

Tonight I came clean to my colleagues. Standing in front of my team who I have become so close to in the last few years was very difficult but they all support my decision to take time out of the business.

This is why I am leaping for love for St Wilfrids in Chichester. I need my chance to make a difference, and by achieving my goal it can get me back into my community and help the charity which did so much for my grandparents in their time of need.  All I ask is for a small donation, to make my goal of £400 a reality to help them open a new clinic.

for any more info just drop me a message at lolafordyce@hotmail.co.uk

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