Growing up in 1980s Scotland, there were at least 2 Lauras in every class I went into. Over the years I've got used to hearing...which Laura....oh, the one with the really long hair.  As a feminist, I'm the last one to  want to be defined by a physical label, but given my hair is currently about 3ft long, I suppose having it that long, is kind of my thing! (And who doesn't want to be princess Leia when the chance arises!) 

For the last decade or so, every few years, I cut my hair and donate it to a charity who make wigs for children sufferering from cancer, who sadly lose their hair in the treatment process.

I have also tried to fundraise for other organisations whilst doing so and this year I've chosen to support Scottish Women's Aid who help women and families facing domestic abuse.

As a local councillor, especially with the portfolio that covers domestic abuse, it's a cause close to my heart. I also know only too well the pain that emotional abuse and psychological, coercive control causes, affecting many people close to me. 

It would mean a lot to me if friends would give a few pounds to support the vital work that Scottish Women's Aid do to support women & families and to raise awareness of the importance of the new legislation coming into force on domestic abuse on April 1st.

The more conversations we can have on the impact of Psychological abuse and Coercive Control, on women, children & also on society and the journey we have to go on to achieve equality, the sooner we will get there. More importantly, the less suffering there will be along the way.

When I look back on my own words about coercive control, it brings home why it matters so much and the damage it can do in any close relationship. I could talk for hours on the damage Domestic Abuse does us all, but perhaps it is best to say that we all have many conversations ahead. 

Silence
Is not permission’s confirmation,
Nor interaction lack of consternation,
A power wielded through manipulation,
Cannot unshackle fear from situation.

Action
Is not easy to consider,
Consequences anger might deliver,
Could hurt so many innocents forever,
And break a bond which hearts resist to sever.

Power
Is to know that even while,
The tears fill up with memories now vile,
Despite your victims’ anger hurt and bile,
Controlling lies can force their desperate smile.

Betrayal
Explodes with shrapnel in our trust,
That you’d destroy my world for only lust,
And cheat and lie to salvage what you must,
The fires of our friendship lost to dust.

Forgiveness
Now an idiot’s disgrace,
To offer still support in sorrow’s place
When you took all my dignity in chase,
And still I stand with you through all you face.

Judgement
Such a heavy price to pay,
Coerced and worse, controlled to nothing say,
Lest shame and risk invade my every day,
I’m wedded to the cruelty you play.

Escape
Like hope that left me with your lies,
I gave my soul’s full strength to soothe your cries,
And put you first, the world to not despise,
My prison swims with tears, as future dies.

Guilt
For all I hide, like truths before,
To know will not be heard and even more,
That others brave but broken to their core,
I cannot help, for fear of what’s in store.