There are certain moments in your life when everything does stop. If only for the briefest of times. When I was told that Oscar had leukaemia my whole world stopped for only a second as I struggled to put two familiar words together. "Oscar" and "Leukaemia". It just didn't make sense that my bright and beautiful little boy would become linked to something so dark and formidable. 

That first of many walks to the children's ward at Hereford hospital seemed to last a lifetime. My brain still fogged with incomprehension. Oscar had only gone in for blood tests for the flu after all. 

You know it's bad news when you are herded into an office and handed a cup of tea and a box of tissues. I listened, I drank, I waited and then I used the tissues. Oscar and leukaemia. Oscar and leukaemia. Oscar. Has. Leukaemia.

The world sped up at a frightening pace from then. I cannot recall much but I do remember a nurse telling us that they would become like family and my mind screaming back that they wouldn't and we had enough family thank you very much. 

It's funny how these things stay with you. 

From Hereford we went to Birmingham Children's Hospital and I think my heart almost broke as we were admitted to the oncology ward. I was certain that the little boy I loved so much wouldn't leave that building the same.

Unfortunately I was right. 

Oscar became terrified of needles during the first nightmarish weeks of his treatment. The trips to the treatment room were punctuated by howls and relentless sobbing as cannulas were inserted and then failed a little time later. We held him tight as doctors fought to get the needles in place and we told him again and again that everything would be all right. He had to endure the horrors of two 45 minute sessions where two doctors tried to get cannulas into anywhere they could ignoring sites where numbing cream had been placed and not hearing Oscar's screams for them to listen to him. He got so scared he wet himself and we asked them to stop.

Our poor little boy shrunk back into himself. He wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep, wouldn't move and wouldn't let any medical staff near him. They terrified him completely and utterly. Our little boy grew so small and frail in his fear and we thought we had lost him forever.

But it turned out the family I had shunned in Hereford were exactly what Oscar needed. The nurses, play specialists, consultants, health care assistants, physios, doctors and an army of others got to know our son and gradually gained his trust, his friendship and his smiles. The nurses would knock on the door and say a password before coming in to give Oscar a sense of control over his surroundings. The physio created a game of "feed the minion" to get Oscar walking. Everyone that came to do something with Oscar knew to talk to him about what was happening rather than over him and it made him more secure in this new and uncertain world. One nurse became a superhero to Oscar when she stopped a doctor putting a cannula into him without giving us warning first. She had managed to find a way around it and we have never, ever been so grateful to anyone.

Oscar now has his bloods and treatment done via a port which is accessed by a needle. This is testament to the hard work and time given by some truly amazing people. He would never have coped without them making him smile and feel safe. 

He has another year and a half or so of treatment and the amazing people on the Children's Ward continue to work so hard to make Oscar feel like a special little boy and not a patient. They make him laugh when he is feeling rubbish and distract him from the very worst this illness has thrown at him so far.

Last year I raised money for the children's ward at Hereford Hospital by wearing fancy dress for a week.

This year I have decided to do something that makes me sick to the stomach every time I think of it. I am not an athletic person and I do not like being out of control so what better way to raise money than by launching myself at 5k of inflatable obstacles? Humiliation is only fun if you lose control of your limbs!

Nothing I do will ever show the gratitude I feel for all the wonderful people who have become family to us and who brought our little boy back but I hope that by raising money for the children's ward I can go a little way to saying thank you. 

Thank you so much for reading the ramblings of a tired woman and please, please take the time to sponsor me. 

Kate. Xxx