I have 10 days and counting to raise money for Elizabeth Finn Care. I urgently need your help.  Here's the whole sorry saga.

Back in the summer, in response to my own credit crunch I freed myself from the monthly bondage of the Virgin Active direct debit and recurring guilt that I wasn't justifying my membership in the first place!

Liberated I punched the sky and manfully roared an affirming "Yes!".  The streets of Hammersmith would become my personal gymnasium.

Yes! To encourage this revolution I would undertake the Royal Parks Half Marathon, training my body with utmost rigour and discipline to emerge in optimal physical condition to emerge a triumphant 13 mile champion of life come autumn.

And did I take committed and regular action to live up to this solemn vow?  Did I heckers like! 

Instead, in July  I managed one or two Sunday morning jaunts around Holland Park and came home with the papers.

 To speed things up in early August I took up 37 Degrees' offer of a one day trial of their gym facilities.  I emerged, shaken and bruised and walked down the North End Road for a large fried breakfast.

At the end of August I suffered a side strain competing in a Buddhist 'Tug of Peace' with the young men of West London.  Don't snigger at the back!  This ruled me out of training until I gave in to an absolute stinker of a cold in the middle of September.  And then last Sunday I ran around to Putney and up Fulham Palace Road.  On Monday I ran up Kensington Church Street. 

So you should get the picture by now - I am not a man with a plan.  So please help and encourage me to do the honourable thing.  And this, I vow, does not involve my mother writing an 'absence from games note' on sheets of crisp, blue, Basildon Bond paper.

Support my imbecility, give value and meaning to my suffering I heartily implore! And here's how!

Donating through Justgiving is quick, easy and totally secure. It’s also the most efficient way to sponsor me: Elizabeth Finn Care gets your money faster and, if you’re a UK taxpayer, Justgiving makes sure 25% in Gift Aid, plus a 3% supplement, are added to your donation.

So please sponsor me now!