After being diagnosed with prostate cancer, I found myself in a mentally bad state and neither my wife or boss could help me. I was grateful for the emotional support from Maggie's. My perspective on life has changed and joining the prostate cancer support group has helped me to prepare for my treatment.   

I’m a Captain in the British Army and have a year or two to go before retirement. 

I’ve been married to my wife Margaret since 1979, and we have a son and daughter who are both grown up, and more recently we have our grandson, Mack.  

Fundraising for charities

I have always done a lot of fundraising for different charities.

I usually set myself a challenge and then ask people to vote for which charity I should support when they donate. 

In 2017, I did one hour of fitness every day for a month, and my friends and family voted for the money to go to Maggie’s. 

At that point I wasn’t aware of what Maggie’s did. But I went along to present them with a cheque in December 2017 and they showed me around the centre.

I was really impressed and little did I know that I would need Maggie’s less than two years later.  

My diagnosis and treatment  

I was diagnosed in June last year with a particularly aggressive form of Prostate Cancer, which is currently doing its best to bring about my early demise. 

Because I’m relatively fit from being in the military, my doctors decided to give me a very strong dose of chemotherapy, as well as hormone therapy and radiotherapy.  

The chemotherapy finished in February. By the end of it, it was starting to take its toll on my body. But I feel a lot better now and I’m preparing myself for radiotherapy.  

Maggie’s support

My diagnosis really floored me mentally. I just couldn’t deal with it. I went from being a 60‐year‐old guy who was very fit and healthy, to being given a diagnosis of cancer. 

It really affected my head and at one point, I fully intended to take my own life. It got to the point where my suicidal thoughts became quite obsessive and I said to my wife that I was going to go to Maggie’s.  

I began fortnightly sessions with a Psychologist at Maggie’s, which I have found very, very helpful. I’m not sure if I would have got through it without their help. My wife couldn’t help me, my boss couldn’t help me. 

After the first three sessions, my perspective totally changed. I think it can be easier to open about these things to a professional.

I’m now accepting of my diagnosis and prepared to fight it like I would fight anything else.  

Prostate cancer support group

I joined the prostate cancer support group, who meet up once a month at Maggie’s. I wasn’t sure what to expect when I first arrived.

I sat there and the first thing I thought was ‘why am I here?’, because most of the gentlemen there were at least ten years older than me. 

But I went back the following month and I realised that I could learn a lot from them and their experiences.

For example, at the last meeting I was talking to a gentleman who had just had three sessions of radiotherapy, so he has helped me to better prepare for my upcoming radiotherapy.  

Every cancer diagnosis is different so I wouldn’t say we’re in the same boat, but we’re on the same road and it’s been very good for me.  

Cancer during Coronavirus 

My oncologist phoned me about postponing my radiotherapy because of coronavirus. 

She said that the hormone treatment would keep the cancer at bay for a while if I chose to postpone. 

I told her I didn’t want to just keep it at bay. My mindset is firmly that coronavirus is a lesser threat to me than cancer, so I’ve decided to push on.  

I’ll be having 20 sessions of radiotherapy over four weeks. I’m aware of the threats of going to the hospital for treatment, but for me it was an easy decision. 

I feel confident that I can take all the necessary precautions before going into hospital.  

Phone calls with Maggie's

I’m still talking to staff at Maggie's every other week, it is massively important to me that these sessions still go ahead despite not being able to go to the centre. 

Because my feelings, what’s going on in my head, that doesn’t change just because of coronavirus. For me, the cancer is still the serious and most imminent threat to me. 

I’ve also joined a new virtual group run by Maggie’s for people who are shielding. 

And the Prostate Group are looking to do something similar soon. It’s a real bonus to have these groups running, even if it is virtually.  

I appreciate the work that the NHS are doing massively, but we have got to try and keep the cancer diagnosis and treatment going as well. 

I do worry about the future and how coronavirus will affect people with cancer.