In this difficult last year, our eyes and hearts have opened up to the problems of loneliness and helplessness of our relatives, friends and strangers. 

Before the lockdowns, we were preoccupied with our own affairs, we were often not aware of the suffering of our friends.

 Therefore, I would like to dedicate my two runs, 10k and a Half Marathon to my wonderful friend Joanna and her son (R.I.P) Aansh-Gabriel.

Joanna's story...

" I was over the moon to see positive on the pregnancy test. I waited until my 12 weeks scan to start sharing the good news. I felt so excited going to the hospital...but yet had some fear. It was as if I knew something was wrong. 

Then I was told that I was in the high-risk category for Trisomy 13 and 18 (genetic disorders,  include a combination of birth defects, such as severe learning problems and health problems that affect nearly every organ in the body).

The doctor suggested CVS testing, results came back fine, and I was told that my baby was a boy. We started to get excited. Then we were referred for an echocardiogram to check for heart abnormalities. It was then that my baby was diagnosed with two heart defects; VSD and Coarctation of the Aorta. The shock was not even close to what we felt. Apart from that, one lung had water in it. 

The doctors said that the heart defects could be treated with open-heart surgery. After two weeks, we went for a scan and the consultant was worried about a part of the brain and also one kidney was multicystic and would never work. The next step MRI. The results came back confirming all abnormalities and also determined that the other kidney was dysplastic. 

My world was falling apart. I cried every day for hours. We spoke to another doctor who confirmed all of the previously diagnosed conditions and told us that our beautiful boy wouldn't survive until birth, and if he did, he would die within minutes of coming into this world. I felt like I let him down and couldn't protect him...

We returned to the hospital and had our beautiful baby. I'm so grateful that I had a full day with him after he was born, to cuddle him and look at him and for those couple of hours feel "normal". Aansh- Gabriel was born on 26-05-2018.

Leaving him in the hospital was the second-worst day of my life. I felt so empty.

After a long three and a half weeks the funeral took place. It was incredibly hard...but we were glad that our baby was finally at peace. I ask myself every day why this happened - I just hope I will understand at some point. I know that I have the most incredible Angel in my life that is looking after me....".

Miscarriage, stillbirth, premature,  other medical conditions .....losing a baby should never be "just one of those things".

Thank you Joanna for letting me share your story and dedicate my run to your Angel.