We are in crisis. During these unprecedented times, during the chaos that has ensued, during all the uncertainty, the greatest immediate threat to my wellbeing is not COVID-19, nor boredom, nor stress from the shit-heap that was my A-Levels, but it is in fact my father. A devastating sight that would make any barber keel over in disgust, a wrong that I feel it is my duty to correct. This is my plea to you. Save me from this travesty. #ChopItOff