Hilary Sturgeon
Hilary's London Marathon page
Fundraising for Sands, the stillbirth and neonatal death charity
Story
Thank you for visiting my Just Giving page in aid of Sands. I first heard about this charity on the day that my son died. It was the worse day of my life. This charity is now an embedded part of my life and means so much to me. I am so proud to be running London Marathon for Sands especially as it is a few days after Oscar's 11th birthday.
Oscar Ellis Sturgeon 23/04/09-21/05/09
No one expects to outlive their child but when they are taken from you after a traumatic and mere 29 days it is truly devastating. Bristol Sands has supported me on every step of my ongoing journey to cope with Oscar's death and life without him. From the initial support meetings where I could talk through my raw grief, disbelief and other emotions, through a coroner's inquest into his death and through future pregnancies Bristol Sands were, and still are, there whenever I need them.
I felt that the support offered to me was so important that it seemed only natural to get involved with the charity myself. Shortly after my second child was born I trained to be a Sands befriender and started to offer support to others through the local meetings. I joined the committee and got involved with many other aspects of the local group. 3 years ago I became treasurer of Bristol Sands. As part of our amazing local team I have helped to support countless bereaved parents; helped to train midwives, health visitors and other health care professionals; helped fundraise for the local group; participated in our memorial events; supported others fundraisers; looked after our local finances; attended Sands conferences; contributed to research projects to name just some of the things I have been involved in.
I am passionate that things improve for bereaved parents and there is so much work being done nationally as well as locally to improve the situation. Research into reducing the number of babies dying each day (currently 15 a day!) is vital, as is improving facilities and care given in hospitals as well as after care provided in the community and support through future pregnancies.
Most importantly is being able to help break the silence over the death of a baby. It is still such a taboo subject but it shouldn't be. I love to talk about Oscar as much as I want to talk about my other kids but sometimes I say I have 2 children not 3 children. Sometimes it doesn't seem right to mention him in case it upsets others, or makes them feel awkward, but Oscar did exist, he is still my son and I am still so very proud of him.
My life is now forever full of what if's and unknowns about Oscar's personality and what could have been. Oscar's short life changed me forever and as I journey forward in my state of 'new normal' I thank all those around me who offer me continued love and support.
Thank you for reading this and thank you for any donations you may choose to give.
My page donations will be sent direct to the charity in a fast and secure way. Its efficient, saves time and cuts costs for the charity. Let's do this!