To those who know my story, and me I want to personally thank you
for all the support, love, kindness and positivity you have continued to
give me throughout the years and there’s been many!

I normally keep my life private, especially when it comes to “women’s
troubles,” however I am about put on a brave face as I truly believe
this condition needs to be spoken about more frequently and without
shame. My internal smile dims every month when I am crippled with
pain yet I smile on the outside and pretend everything is ok. Well it’s
not, not one bit.

The reality is I don't always feel positive about my list of
gynaecological diagnosis and as I write this I have tears building up.
Here it goes, deep breath, hopefully my story will explain exactly why
I am taking part in this amazing cause.

I am now 34 years old and have had “problems” with my periods for
25 years. I was a child when I started my period. 9 years old. I was
the first girl in my junior school and their history to have this happen
at such a young age. They allocated a toilet for me however the
sanitary bin would often get moved around and even moved into
cubicles without locks on the door. I dreaded going to school when I
had my period. I had a lot of time off school as I would be physically
sick and doubled over in pain, constantly flooding, and sometimes
even had diarrhoea. A lot of the girls didn’t start their period until 12
or 13 years old, some even later. I was always envious of the girls
that hadn't started their period.

Shockingly, I was given the pill at 11 years old. This was the only
thing the Drs promised myself and my parents would help me. I
became a hormonal mess; I didn't stay very long on contraceptives,
as they didn’t make the slightest difference. By the time I was 14 I
was a pro at periods, knew all the signals and was always prepared
so that nothing could take me by surprise. I was given more tablets to
ease the pain and slow the flow. All was going well until I had a
continuous bleed for more than 5 months all the while being told by
Doctors it would pass and to just keep an eye on it. How on earth
would this ever be the norm?

I got rushed to hospital one night due to the pain and heaviness of
my period. My parents both by my side, I was in a hospital room
having scans and Drs asking me if they wanted my Dad to leave and
if I was pregnant. I had a number of tests done and they found out I
had PCOS. at this point I had more testosterone and no cysts. They
told me that the only way to stop what I am going through was to
have a hysterectomy. I was 14 years old. I had no idea what they
meant. Needless to say my parents had some very strong words for
the gynaecologist who suggested it to me. I was in hospital, on a
children’s ward, with women’s problems. Yet again I felt like a
complete outcast and once again told that this is all completely
normal. I was told at 14 that I was being poly pharmacist and she
sorted out my medication.

Years and years went by and so did different medications and pills, at
24 I had enough again and went for more tests and found out I now
have cysts on my ovaries. I was told to hurry up and have children
before I was 30 as I probably won’t be able to have them. Again
cracking advice and as you can imagine I had a lot of anxiety and
negative thoughts about my body and myself and felt completely
alone. For a few reasons 1) being that no one talked about periods,
2) there wasn’t as much information around and 3) I didn’t know
anyone who was going through the same thing.

For years I struggled mentally, physically and felt less of a women
due to all of my problems, friends were having babies and as much
as I was over joyed for them and absolutely love all their babies there
was apart of me each time that wanted that. I was in a loving
relationship and being told I needed to hurry up put an enormous
pressure on our relationship and eventually we parted ways. I was
devastated to find out from a different health care professional that
the lady who told me to “hurry up” was just saying it as a fly away
comment, she couldn’t see the extent of it and was told it could
actually be very mild and not to panic. Well damage done. Panic
done. I took the comment to be fact and it consumed me. Years of
medical contradictions, mental struggles, medications, opinions over
fact. I. Was. done.

At the age of 32 I had enough years of being told it was normal, that
if I lost weight all would be ok. I couldn’t cope anymore, I had horrific
periods, the pain was that bad I couldn't move, it was completely
debilitating. I had never been in so much pain I was so close to going
to an emergency room. This was normal for me now each month.

As a Skin Clinic owner I interact with lots of people every day, more
and more people were talking to me about their struggles and the
pain they go through during the month of their period. Listening with
an attentive ear I started to realise that I am not alone. It gave me
confidence to search for a true diagnosis.

I spoke with my Doctor and suggested it could be Endometriosis. She
was extremely reluctant to do any test or help with a solution. Her
words were “well you’re not trying for a baby so until you are that’s
when we will worry about it.” Immediately I am forced back to my 14-
year-old self, a flippant remark that causes a world of pain. What
about MY feelings? Why do I have to try so hard for help? What
about my agonising pain every single month? Why won’t anyone
listen? What about ME?

August 2020 was when I finally got diagnosed with Endometriosis
after a Laparoscopy. I had surgery booked for the October I was so
excited and nervous to have this condition recognised and finally I
was going to get the help I’ve needed for years. After surgery I was
confused with medication and no idea of time. My family have since
told me I was supposed to go in for surgery at 12pm but went down
to theatre at 7pm, I was due out by 10pm but I still hadn’t emerged
until 11pm. My day op had now turned into an over night stay. The
next morning a nurse who came to check on my wounds told me that
her sister has Endometriosis and can’t have children. Just what I
wanted to hear less than 6 hours after my op and drugged up.
Another nurse told me I shouldn’t be there and started to complain
about the Doctors always moving patients. My family couldn’t be with
me due to Covid-19 restrictions so this was extremely nerve-racking
when the next thing I hear is that they’re not sure what I had done.
They thought I had a local however I had a general anaesthetic. I
could not believe the lack of support, care information and non-
medical staff telling me I won’t be able to have children and looking at
me with such sadness in their eyes. I had to once again fight to
speak to someone about what my consultant found. The consultant
wasn’t there so I got discharged without having a clue what I’d had
done. The next day the consultant phoned me to explain he left me
last on his list because he knew I would be a “difficult” case. It took
longer than expected and I had some tissue that couldn’t be
removed.

It turns out I have moderate to severe (stage 3) Endometriosis mostly
in my left side. It was such a relief to be diagnosed and to know what
was happening to my body. I cannot explain how much pain I am
constantly in. Yes I have a good week or even a good day and other
days I battle with constant bloating, pain in my hip and so on. I
overthink about the future and my fertility quite a lot. My laparoscopy
was successful they did what they could with my Endometriosis they
found lots of fibroid's and cysts on ovaries and they said I need to
either have the coil or try for a pregnancy. I was relieved I finally
knew what was happening inside.

I am now 6 months post op, my pain is inconsistent, one month it is
debilitating the next seems ok. I had a follow up and was told by my
consultant to “put some serious effort into trying to conceive,” as this
will help my Endometriosis. In all honesty I laughed with my sister
about this comment, I have definitely learnt to take what they say,
outside of medical fact, with a pinch of salt and to not beat myself up.
It’s still a learning process for me as I have had so many years
battling the struggles mentally alongside the physical aspects. My
partner and I will be sure to “give it a good go though!”

I am so grateful I found Dr Larisa and Endometriosis UK helping
women like me with further information. I am always researching and
reading books to find out how I can help myself with this condition.
This is why I am doing this challenge, so that young girls and women
are given the right information and are taught that they don’t have to
put up with heavy, painful and debilitating periods. 
Half the population have them. Talk to someone, join groups you
never know someone you know may have the same struggles. You
are not alone.

Let’s end the stigma.

Let’s talk about periods.

Let’s talk about the problems.

Painful periods are not normal.

You don't need to suffer.

Keep pushing for medical help.

Never give up!

Thank you for reading and for supporting me.

Let’s end the #EndoTheStigma