Mental health illnesses affect 1 in 4 people, yet for some reason it is an issue that is brushed under the carpet and rarely discussed. Whether it is because of a lack of understanding or inaccurate stereotypes betrayed by the media, there is a huge amount of stigma and discrimination attached to mental health problems; but it’s time for this to change. By sharing my story I hope to improve awareness of mental health and raise money to help the charity Mind support those suffering today.

When I was 14 I collapsed one day at school without warning, and in the following weeks I suffered from a severe lack of energy and an intense feeling of sadness for which I had no understanding. After numerous tests, visits to a psychiatrist and courses of anti-depressants, I was eventually admitted to hospital. However, the feelings of hopelessness, emptiness and fear intensified and I became withdrawn from everything around me. I was being given a cocktail of various drugs but these only seemed to worsen my feelings, until I became suicidal.

I do not remember the preceding months. However I’m told that in an effort to end the pain I was in, I stopped eating all together. This was unfortunately allowed to continue by medical staff until my body was so starved of nourishment that I collapsed, severely close to suffering a heart attack. I was rushed to a general hospital where I was left bed ridden and in a partial coma. Weeks later I was transferred to a private hospital 100 miles from my home. For months I didn’t have the strength, physically or mentally, to do anything for myself. I could not open my eyes or talk so I just lay there, trapped within a desolate realm while strangers washed me, clothed me, and fed me through a tube. No words will ever be able to describe the agonising distress I felt at the time.

Through an incredible amount of determination from my medical team I eventually began to recover. After enduring 18 sessions of electro-convulsive therapy, which had little effect at the time but has now left me with permanent memory loss, I was diagnosed with Pervasive Withdrawal Syndrome which affects only 1 in a million people. The doctor who oversaw my recovery worked endlessly to find the most effective ways to treat me, spending hours on end taking with me and truly listening to everything I said. By allowing me to take control of my own progress and working with many therapists I made vast improvements. Gradually I started going home for short periods of time until I was well enough to be discharged. However, upon being discharged I was still wheelchair bound and institutionalised which made the process of not only learning how to walk again, but how to socialise with other people - a very long and challenging time for me.

The cause of my illness is believed to be the acne drug Roaccutane which I took as a teenager, although there is no way for this to be proven. However, regardless of the cause, I went from being a happy, healthy teenager with a wonderful circle of friends and an ever-supportive family, to an unrecognisable person suffering from horrific mental trauma who was hospitalised for 22 months. I hope that this is enough evidence to prove that mental health problems can affect the most stable and happiest of people at any point during their lives. Mental health illnesses are uncontrollable in the same way that physical ones are, and also have significant implications on the lives of close family and friends.

Now aged 20 and fully recovered, I have completed my A levels and have an unconditional offer to study mechanical engineering at the University of Sussex, which is where I’ll be going in September. However, before going to university I have taken a gap year in which I plan on making up for lost time by travelling and exploring the world for myself, living life to the fullest. Considering that I once thought I would spend the rest of my life in a hospital bed, I have managed to overcome a tremendous amount. I do not resent my experiences; they have given me an inner strength and appreciation for life that I may never have found otherwise.

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