Emma Carlton
Emma's page
Fundraising for Beat
Story
This summer I will be taking down the miles and the hills as I run 60km around the hilly but beautiful lake district. I am doing this to help raise funds and awareness for Beat - an eating disorder charity which offers support, advice, time and love to those who are suffering with disordered eating or know someone who is.
Unfortunately, I have been battling an eating disorder myself for the last couple of years and with the help of running, family and friends it’s slowly, very slowly becoming something I am accepting and sorting. From the lowest of lows where I was hardly reaching 500 calories a day, but exercising like mad, running for hours and going to the gym but also working - farming or tennis coaching to where I am today, which is still a long way off where I need to be but I am in a place where I do eat, albeit food of my choice and it’s a routine, so I eat at a certain time and certain foods it is all baby steps. Running has made me understand that without any food my running performance is poor and painful, cramping up and lethargic all the time. By running the hours I do I have learnt that I need to eat in order to continuously keep doing the things I love. Even though my food I eat is very limited down to fruit and veg, i’ve finally got round to adding in rice again.
It’s been 5 years since i’ve touched a biscuit, chocolate, cheese, bread and the list continues however slowly slowly things are being re introduced to my diet and things start to become a little less scary. Never did I think that food could scare me, how could looking at a salmon make me cry, or the thought of having an extra scoop of fat free natural yogurt almost send me over the edge. However, it did, and it still does to some extent.
With long distance running this allows me to feel better about myself, make me feel as though it’s okay to eat something after i’ve been running for a couple of hours, sure it won’t be a sandwich or a massive burger but maybe a bowl of soup or a jacket potato for dinner. For a long time I wouldn’t accept that there was anything wrong with me, for the first few months I was proud of the fact I hadn’t eaten chocolate, sweets, crisps etc but before I knew it Chocolate and biscuits soon turned into bread, pasta, granola, anything and everything that wasn’t fruit or veg. After receiving some help and finally starting to accept the fact I suffer from that horrible ED word things slowly are picking up. I am miles away from eating chocolate etc again but I really do not miss that! However, it would be nice to have the option of having it if I wanted it as opposed to not being allowed it.
I look forward to the days that are to come where food isn’t so stressful for me. Where I don’t have to constantly think when do I have to eat again, what do I have to eat, Where am I going to eat etc. The days where I will be able to go round friends for dinner or out for a meal, or just grab something from a shop one day if I am out and about but at the moment this is my boundary, well one of them- probably the main one. It’s the thing that I constantly worry about and have to plan around. This charity is an incredible charity who helps those suffering and also people who might have loved ones suffering they give advice, help and all they can to help beat eating disorders.
For me, I will get there in time, my running is my therapy and without my sport my mental health is badly affected. But for those who know someone or maybe are suffering themselves, drop Beat a line, give them a call a Chat online or just have a browse through their website.
It’s amazing how food can all of a sudden control your life and restrict you from many things, so lets raise awareness to those who are suffering who need the help and to know they are not alone.
Unfortunately, I have been battling an eating disorder myself for the last couple of years and with the help of running, family and friends it’s slowly, very slowly becoming something I am accepting and sorting. From the lowest of lows where I was hardly reaching 500 calories a day, but exercising like mad, running for hours and going to the gym but also working - farming or tennis coaching to where I am today, which is still a long way off where I need to be but I am in a place where I do eat, albeit food of my choice and it’s a routine, so I eat at a certain time and certain foods it is all baby steps. Running has made me understand that without any food my running performance is poor and painful, cramping up and lethargic all the time. By running the hours I do I have learnt that I need to eat in order to continuously keep doing the things I love. Even though my food I eat is very limited down to fruit and veg, i’ve finally got round to adding in rice again.
It’s been 5 years since i’ve touched a biscuit, chocolate, cheese, bread and the list continues however slowly slowly things are being re introduced to my diet and things start to become a little less scary. Never did I think that food could scare me, how could looking at a salmon make me cry, or the thought of having an extra scoop of fat free natural yogurt almost send me over the edge. However, it did, and it still does to some extent.
With long distance running this allows me to feel better about myself, make me feel as though it’s okay to eat something after i’ve been running for a couple of hours, sure it won’t be a sandwich or a massive burger but maybe a bowl of soup or a jacket potato for dinner. For a long time I wouldn’t accept that there was anything wrong with me, for the first few months I was proud of the fact I hadn’t eaten chocolate, sweets, crisps etc but before I knew it Chocolate and biscuits soon turned into bread, pasta, granola, anything and everything that wasn’t fruit or veg. After receiving some help and finally starting to accept the fact I suffer from that horrible ED word things slowly are picking up. I am miles away from eating chocolate etc again but I really do not miss that! However, it would be nice to have the option of having it if I wanted it as opposed to not being allowed it.
I look forward to the days that are to come where food isn’t so stressful for me. Where I don’t have to constantly think when do I have to eat again, what do I have to eat, Where am I going to eat etc. The days where I will be able to go round friends for dinner or out for a meal, or just grab something from a shop one day if I am out and about but at the moment this is my boundary, well one of them- probably the main one. It’s the thing that I constantly worry about and have to plan around. This charity is an incredible charity who helps those suffering and also people who might have loved ones suffering they give advice, help and all they can to help beat eating disorders.
For me, I will get there in time, my running is my therapy and without my sport my mental health is badly affected. But for those who know someone or maybe are suffering themselves, drop Beat a line, give them a call a Chat online or just have a browse through their website.
It’s amazing how food can all of a sudden control your life and restrict you from many things, so lets raise awareness to those who are suffering who need the help and to know they are not alone.