**** UPDATE: devastatingly I couldn’t do the London 2022 marathon as I got injured. I am now doing the London 2023 marathon though, Yey!*****

Thank you for making it this far. As many of you know, we lost our beautiful mama a year ago now. It feels like 5 minutes ago and a lifetime ago. I'll write as much as I can but I'm already welling up haha. 

My mam was the best mam. I know most people say that about their mothers, but she really was. She always went without so that me, William, and Ellie could have what we needed. She was lifelong nurse at work and at home. I still remember waiting at the kitchen door for her getting home from a late shift (extra late because she always stayed behind). I still remember the joy of seeing her, I still remember the smell. There are so many endless beautiful things about her that I wish I could share with you. The agony of losing her has been precisely that: agony. An agony that cannot be understood unless it has been experienced. I don't know what was worse, watching the cancer spread, or breathing each breath without her here. The former obviously, because the latter is probably selfish of me. We were so lucky that we got the time we did with you but I would have traded places with you in a heartbeat mam.  

ANYWAYS. Enough of the pity party. Running has always been a tonic for my sadness. I've done plenty of races but this one, this is the big one. This is me channelling grief and anger into something positive, because thats exactly what she would have wanted. Positivity. I'm running the London Marathon in October this year (wish me luck even if you can't donate - it's my first marathon!). Breast Cancer Now is my obvious charity of choice because I want to contribute to the movement towards finding more treatments and cures for this unforgivable disease. 

I will say as well, in writing this, I'm also thinking about my friend Ellie Lloyd. One of the best humans I've ever met, and one of the few who understood this agony long before I did. She is my constant rock, and I'll be thinking of you when I'm running Ellie. It won't help, but it's all I can do. The same goes for everyone else I know who knows the pain of it all. I won’t name you all, but I love you. 

Anything anyone could donate to get me to my goal would be unbelievably appreciated. Even if it's just a quid. My gratitude will be endless x

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