Hi Everyone,

First of all I would like to say I cannot thank you enough for your time & donations, I'm grateful for every penny and I hope that we can find something positive out of this tragic loss. My friends and I are planning on raising money in multiple ways, the main way being running/walking a marathon. We have chosen this cause to help with the prevention of young suicide in the UK. Now, I would like to explain to you my story:

Dear Reader,

Eliot was my best friend. We met in Year 7 in Geography Class, and we instantly clicked. Soon I was introduced to his primary school friend Evan, and later I introduced these two to my friends outside of school, Tom and Harry. We did a lot together and had a very strong bond. That's how our friendship group was made. We knew each other for 7 years.

To me Eliot was that one person who everything just made sense with, the sort of person who you could laugh about something together, and without saying anything, you'd both know what was funny. He was very special to me. I don't think that sort of bond will be recreated with anyone else.

I mean we were just normal teenagers, back in the day we used to all play together: FIFA, COD and Fortnite when it came out too. We used to snap each other regularly on snapchat. Send funny stuff to each other, send tiktoks, talk about girls, talk about school, talk about life around school, talk about trips, talk about going out. We were just normal, like everyone else. At school me and Eliot were in the same class, every year, for almost all of our lessons. We spent our breaks and lunches with each other, we walked out of school together. My whole school life was with him. It wasn't common to see us without each-other.

We actually celebrated Eliot's 18th together with Owen, another close friend of Eliot and ours. We camped at his farm for the night. Eliot showed us the animals, the tractors, and the fields. We played football, had drinks and had a great time together. It's going to stay one of my fondest memories of him.

Now progress into September 2020, a few months later. I'm starting my 3rd year of Sixth form; Eliot, Tom, Owen and Harry are off to university, and Evan is at home studying flying. We miss each other lots but we are all also very excited for everyone's new start to life. Everyone is having fun at their unis. We do group facetimes and talk almost every day over a sort of call. All is well.

I genuinely don't know how to properly describe the next part of my story. Words do not do it justice. 

On a normal day, early November I went to school, had my breakfast, did my morning routine, and in my 2nd lesson my Learning support manager pulled me out, and brought me to her office for no apparent reason. My dad was in hospital at the time so I assumed it may have been something about that. And that's when she told me that Eliot had passed away. 

The immediate feeling was heart-wrenching. I do not wish that feeling upon anyone. It's a feeling of shock, confusion, disbelief, anger and sadness. It's horrible. I can't properly put into words how it made me feel.

Being one of the first couple of friends that knew. After just finding out, I had to tell Tom, Harry and Evan what had happened. Imagine trying to have that conversation for one second. To tell your best mates that one of us, our best mate had passed away. Suicide. To me and my friends it seemed completely 'out-of-the-blue', no connection at all. It didn't make sense. We all seemed to be the happiest we'd ever been. All of us were in states of shock for weeks, and deep sadness for months. We've all had to seek counselling since then. It still affects us majorly today, and it will for the rest of our life. It is something that we will have to live with forever. I wish that he felt like he could've reached out to any of us. I wish that he felt like he had the option to tell us something, anything about how he was feeling in that moment. I wish that that day was different and I wish that we had had a serious conversation about mental health together.

One sad thing about this situation is that we'll never know why exactly what happened, happened. It's tough knowing that that will never change, and will remain unknown. This situation has a larger impact than just on my friend group. It is devastating for his family too, his parents, his brothers and his sister. Imagine raising your son, or being with your brother for 18 loving years, for them to just be gone one day, and you had no idea that this was even a possibility in their life. It's a massive shock.This is why I want to stress the importance of not making the mistake we have made. I do not want anyone to go through what we have gone through. It's mentally agonising. I hope that by raising awareness in the local area, and online, that people will learn from this, to look after your family and friends. Because sometimes just asking "are you okay?" is not enough. I have to live with the regret of "what if I had that one serious conversation?", "what if I sat down with him and had that chat?" Please talk to your family or friends about your mental health, and please be open to listening to others about their mental health. It's not something people should have to deal with alone. I am hoping by raising awareness that it will invite people to be more open about their mental health, and potentially prevent another suicide like this happening to you.

I am only one of many people that Eliot had impacted in his life, and this is only one story of many that can be told in this one situation. 

I am hoping that by spreading awareness of the realness of young persons suicide that it will aid in any one single person's life. Please talk to your friends, your family. It may save a loved one's life.

By Jon

PAPYRUS is the national Charity for the Prevention of Young Suicide. Suicide is the biggest killer of young people under the age of 35 in the UK, in 2018 over 1800 young people took their own lives. PAPYRUS provides confidential support and advice to young people struggling with thoughts of suicide, and anyone worried about a young person through their helpline, HOPELINEUK. Every £5 raised can help pay for a life-saving contact to HOPELINEUK. Your donations really are lifesaving, thank you.